Prison Break
The Legend

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Let Four Escaped Cons Bear Bellick …

Back at Team Scylla HQ, a couple of anonymous federal stooges pull up with a big black van. Don Self guides them inside a garage. We cut to Linc and Michael chit-chatting about Michael's medical follies, and Michael apologizes for not being there for Lincoln during the whole Sucre-stepped-on-a-mine thing. Are we going to see Michael's apology to Sucre too? A good bromance requires routine communication. Linc sighs, then shares his plan: "What Gretchen did for Sucre makes me think we could use her. I asked her for the sixth key." Apparently, Gretchen assented to this. There's a gloomy little silence and then Don Self comes into the main meeting area. He's got Bellick's body, and he's about to ship it off to Mrs. Bellick. For some reason, everyone on Team Scylla wants to see the body.

So off we go to a loading dock, where two black-suited feds open the van and slide out the coffin -- it must be on rollers, because I know from personal experience that those suckers are heavy even before the body's inside -- and then they pop open the lid. And this is where I had to pause the episode and inquire to the universe: "Really? REALLY?" Because as any viewer of the last episode knows, Brad was standing directly in front of a heavy pipe when he met a wall of water; there's no way his cranium wouldn't have caved in. And as any good viewer of CSI knows, any body that's been rushed along a sewer at high speeds is likely going to have any and all sticky-outty parts completely scrubbed away as the corpse is pushed alongside the walls, over debris, etc. Finally, as anyone who watched any of the Katrina footage on the news should remember: when a body's been submerged in water, it bloats. So what Team Scylla should be seeing is a bloated blob of protoplasm. And then Don Self can be like, "Hey, nobody made you check out the horror show." What Team Scylla does see is a serene-looking man in perfect condition. Either this is a miracle and the entire episode's flashback strategy has been to soften us up for Bellick's canonization in the Catholic church, or the writers on this show have decided that anyone who's still watching has no intelligence left to insult.

So we have a long moment where everyone is silent, and then Mahone reaches into his pocket to retrieve the badge that he found earlier. Once he places it on Bellick's perfectly-preserved chest, Sucre comments that Mrs. Bellick will appreciate the gesture. Linc closes the coffin, and we see that Dr. Sara and Sucre both have walked off to compose themselves. Which, oh which, will Michael rush to comfort first? Answer: neither. The scene ends with Sucre finally calling Bellick's mom.

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Prison Break

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