Prison Break
The Message

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Sasha's dad -- dead!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We start the episode with a FOX "News" special bulletin. I can only imagine what the news will be. Dinesh D'Souza got a hunting permit for the editorial board of the New York Times? A Democratic majority in congress causes cancer?

Noooo... it's cross-channel synergy in action, wherein a "real" "news" organization lends credibility -- or is that "credibility"? -- to this week's episode by informing viewers that Lincoln, Michael and Kellerman shot their way out of the Cutback Motel in beautiful downtown Cutback, Montana. Oh, then they had time to sit down and make a video about their experiences.

We go to a shot of Linc introducing himself and insisting that he's innocent. Then the screen goes staticky and we see a caption reading, "Six hours earlier ... "

Six hours earlier, Terrence Steadman had taken hotel redecorating into his own hands, and decided to paint the wall with the contents of his head. Lincoln says drearily, "We're done." Kellerman springs into action, striding around and saying, "There's no other way out of here. Next time you decide to hold a press conference in a hotel room, make sure there's a back door." Michael can only reply feebly, "You think?" Heh.

We then hear a cop instruct Michael and Lincoln to exit with their hands in the air. From our respective couches, the husband and I chant "like you just don't care." The news crews are all standing around. The police instruct, via bullhorn, "Exit with your hands up." Kellerman rolls his eyes at the boys. Lincoln points to Steadman's body and asks, "What about him?" "What about him? He's useless," Kellerman says. Lincoln points out that there's a dead body and his fingerprints are everywhere. Kellerman asks incredulously, "Are you worried that someone's going to pin a murder on you?" Linc does not snap back, "It wouldn't be the first time!"

Anyway, Kellerman sticks his ID badge out the door and yells, "FBI! Hold your fire! I have Burrows and Scofield in custody and we're coming out. Hold your fire!" The news crew swivels over. Kellerman comes out; the boys have made like they're cuffed. The police officer comes over and asks Kellerman for his I.D. Kellerman says, "Federal Bureau of Investigation. We're going to Billings." The officer insists, "Let me see that I.D. again." That's when Linc and Michael decide to show him that they're not really cuffed. In the time it takes me to type this sentence, there's a brief scuffle and Kellerman's come out of it with his very own hostage. Michael hollers, "I want keys to both of the cop cars now." The news reporter shouts for the cop not to do it, and Michael shouts at the cop, "Don't listen to her! Get the keys!" And wow, is it hot when he's like that. Forget the Blue Steel and the whispering: Screamy Scofield is where it's at.

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Prison Break

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