Surprise, surprise -- T-Bag has a survival instinct surpassed only by the common cold virus and tardigrades, as his alliance with Gretchen saves him from a quick and ugly death at the hands of the Asian criminals from a few episodes back. We find out that Scylla's worth more than $100 mil on the thug market, and for that kind of scratch, T-Bag is willing to work with anyone. Hilariously, so is Trisha, even though T-Bag has adjusted the value way, way, way down to $1 million and she is too dumb to realize it. But at least Gretchen and T-Bag now have a receptionist! And they have Don Self, who gets amusingly mouthy with them in this episode.
As for Team Scylla, they're desperate to get their hands on the sixth card, and since Charybdis is now property of some casino in Las Vegas, the only way to get General Von Baldy's card is to get it off him physically. Lincoln concocts some kamikaze auto scheme wherein he and Sucre will get into a big auto accident with General Von Baldy's limo and an ambulance with Dr. Sara and Michael in it will take General Von Baldy to the hospital, the better to pick his pockets and dope him full of morphine along the way. However, the plan goes awry when somehow, the One World Conspiracy is hipped to it. You can thank the miffy Roland for that one. But he gets his in the end -- read on for more on that.
This episode could be subtitled "Is there no season where Sucre doesn't suffer?" because he gets shot somewhere in the torso during the kamikaze-mission-turned-setup. How handy that his big papi's girlfriend is a doctor! Happily for us, Sucre does not die from being shot, owing to Dr. Sara's ability to perform surgery in a completely unsterile environment while a bunch of guys stand around and do absolutely nothing to help.
This episode could also be subtitled "The Trials of Dr. Sara," as she first has to digest the news that her boyfriend's now working with her former torturer, and then Michael and she have to have the talk about how Michael's possibly afflicted with a tumor that only makes him smarter and more saintly as he draws closer to the a capella choir invisible, and then Gretchen wants a meeting, and then she has to spend the whole episode around bottles of sweet, sweet morphine. Fortunately for us, some of Michael's sterling character has rubbed off because Dr. Sara resists the smack and resists smacking Gretchen during their meeting, per Gretchen's "Whip me for five minutes and let bygones be bygones" olive branch. Instead, Dr. Sara gets all high-and-mighty about a guard that Gretchen murdered. That little morality play was probably meant to cool down viewers at home who were distracted by the prospect of one hot woman whipping another.
Finally: Roland's hurt feelings make him sell out the brothers. He texts with Agent Blots Out the Sun and the two meet up. Roland thinks it's because he's going to get a $1 million payout. However, it's because Agent Blots Out the Sun is planning to kill him. After a few strategically-placed gunshots, Roland's screams are enough to help Team Scylla track down the turncoat. Mahone gets in a few good slugs at the man who killed his son, but the boys plan on taking Agent Blots Out the Sun back to HQ, presumably for an episode's worth of torture. And Michael stays behind to accept Roland's apology and hold his hand as he dies. Rest in peace, Roland. I will miss your funny and egregiously inappropriate quips.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
The episode begins with a flashback to the Chicago of 2001. We see Linc in the car with his partner in crime, Derek Sweeney. (Longtime fans will remember Derek as the guy who got the brothers passage to Panama back in season two.) In this flashback, we establish that Linc is the driver and Derek is the gunman for some sort of upcoming robbery, and Linc is planning on leaving his life of crime after this job, reasoning "How can I be a good father if I'm always in prison?" Oh, hello, ironic foreshadowing! Don't think I don't see you leaning against the car with your studiously disaffected mien and your "INSERT QUIP HERE" t-shirt!
Anyway, Derek opines that of all of Linc's plans, this one may just be his most lunatic, but what's a little consideration like mental health when there's a limousine to take out? We then see Linc deliberately t-bone the limo. His old 1970s beater fails to explode (thanks, Ralph Nader, for something) and the two men emerge unscathed, which is fortunate because Derek has people to kill and Linc has briefcases to steal. Being all whiplashy would hamper that. The guys take off right with a just-pulled-up friend mere seconds before the cops are on the scene.
And we flash to the present, where Roland is saying incredulously, "This is your plan? You're going to pull a kamikaze mission on the general's car?" "Hey, everyone? Anyone who did not lose Charybdis feel free to weigh in on this. Anyone? Anyone? Well, I guess we've heard from everyone who matters" ... is pretty much how Linc treats that response. Sucre protests that car crashes are occasionally injurious or fatal, and Linc non-replies, "I never said this was going to be easy." No, but you also didn't mention that it was going to involve probable spinal injuries.
Meanwhile, Michael and Don Self are tromping through a church and we see that Michael is finally taking advantage of his miraculous tattoo-removal procedure to wear his shirt sleeves rolled up. He's also untucked his shirt too, but that might be more of a camouflage attempt. (Blue Steel's on his way to becoming Big Steel.) It turns out that Self's brokered a meeting with Gretchen. Shouldn't she have burst into flames upon entering a house of the Lord? Anyway, Gretchen greets Michael with, "First off, Panama was a job." Michael doesn't want to hear it: "Some other time. What do you want with Scylla?" She tells him that's her business. Michael says, "We're not in Panama anymore, and I'm not behind a fence. So, again, what do you want with Scylla?" Gretchen says their goal is the same -- to bring down the One World Conspiracy. Michael figures Gretchen can just hand over the missing bird book pages and scram, but Gretchen points out that she's less likely to be killed if she's not operating solo, so as far as she's concerned, it's team play or nothing at all. Michael angrily huffs at Don Self for being willing to bankroll any work Gretchen's doing, and Don calls him on it by asking Michael to present any ideas he has that don't hinge on that bird book. Guess what? Michael and Gretchen are partners now.
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