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Private Practice

Episode Report Card

DeAnn Welker: A- | 1535 USERS: B-

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Parental Guidance

By DeAnn Welker | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2010.01.14

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We pick up where Grey's left off, with Sloan and Sloan in L.A. so that the world's best neonatal surgeon could try to save Sloan Sloan's baby from having a stump. There's a lot of build-up and surgery, but I'll spare you the suspense: She saves the baby and the mother. And then, even though Mark would not like it, Addison tells Sloan Sloan that adoption is an option. And Sloan Sloan seems to like that idea. Meanwhile, Mark and Addison have sex to numb their pain. Mark is awesome. He's the best thing to happen to this show since last time Bailey paid a visit, and he even teases Addison (and us) by threatening to stay. But he's in love with Lexie, so he'll be back in Seattle by this time next week. Plus, the show's hell-bent on a Sam-Addison something, which is infuriating and gross but obviously where it's all heading.

Cooper and Charlotte are still having problems, and both of them talk to Violet but not each other until Charlotte finally tells Cooper to talk to Violet about it. They have it out good, with name-calling and low blows and pointing out all the bad things they've done to each other since this show started (and, if you'll remember, there are plenty of bad things). It ends with Cooper breaking up and Charlotte telling him he's really the heartless one. And, while he does sort of seem like it, you also must remember that she slept with Archer, lied about having been married, and emasculates him every chance she can get. I'm glad the relationship's over and hope there are bigger and better things for both of them. Because, really, the characters are two of the best on the show, but the relationship is one of the worst.

Naomi, Dell, Betsey, and Maya are all living together, both kids hating their parents. Naomi offers good advice to Dell: He needs to apologize to Betsey and Pete for what he did with Heather, which was the wrong decision. He realizes it and makes amends. Naomi tells Maya she needs to talk to someone, even if it's not her mom. So, in the end, Maya goes to Addison and tells her she's pregnant. I'm thinking evil mom Naomi isn't going to take this well, and that perhaps Sam should have shovel ready for some grave-digging. Also: Charlotte helps a hoarder, which is by far the weakest storyline of the week and isn't all that bad, actually. I really like it when most of the drama is about the show's characters instead of the patients of the week.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

No previouslies, because we open right where Grey's Anatomy ended. Only not really. Grey's ended and then this show starts over the credits, but it's Dell's wife's funeral, which has nothing to do with that show. I'm not sure how they expect this to attract viewers, since they didn't even really say, "Keep watching as Mark Sloan visits Private Practice or whatever." So, anyway, funeral. Sad music. Betsey's putting flowers on a grave, as Naomi tries to touch her daughter's hair, but Maya's not having it. You know, it's not so much a funeral as just Dell, Betsey, Naomi, and Maya standing at a grave. Betsey finishes leaving stuff for her mom and walks right by Dell, asking Naomi if she can go to school now.

Oceanside. Charlotte's arriving as Cooper's waiting for the elevator. They just look at each other sadly? Madly? Bitterly? Like people in a fight? Just choose your own ending, because any/all work. In an exam room, Addison's checking out Sloan Sloan's baby, telling Mark that bringing Sloan down here is not an apology. Sloan asks where the AVM is, and it's sort of confusing because I thought an AVM is what killed Nate Fisher, but here it seems to have something to do with Sloan Sloan's womb. Basically, though, the point is that Sloan Sloan is worried, and Addison is amazing and everything will be fine. Addison's going to go in laproscopically and cut one of the bands from around the baby's legs, so he'll be fine. Sloan Sloan says that Addison said she'd be fine last time, and Mark says that was his fault, since he made Addison stop the surgery early. Addison says that is an apology. Sloan Sloan thinks something's sticking out of the baby's head, but Addison assures her it's just his penis, and says Sloan Sloan's going to freak herself out and her blood pressure's already high. Mark says she's scared, and so is he. Sunny title card.

Addison introduces Pete to the two Sloans, so that Pete can help Sloan calm down. It goes about as well as you'd imagine, what with it being Mark and Pete. First, Mark makes fun of Pete's specialty, and then Pete makes fun of Mark's. And everybody says "dude" a lot. Addison tells Mark she's in charge and he's going to let Pete do his thing. She makes him follow her out of the office.

Cooper shows up at a kid's house, who says his mom's not there, but when Cooper asks to wait inside, the kid, Cody, says, "My mom's a super good mom. She's super nice." Cooper's like, "I know. I've met her." So Cody lets him in, and it's a horrifying pigsty. Someone on the writing staff's been watching Hoarders. Not exactly ripped from the headlines, but ripped from ... basic cable. Cody asks Cooper not to knock over any piles, and then Cooper follows him to a somewhat clean area where he removes Cody's cast. Cooper wonders if Cody wanted him to come here to see how much stuff she keeps. Cody's mom comes home, and freaks out that Cooper's here. Cody says the itching was killing him. Cooper casually tells her he needs to go to the hospital because he has a pretty bad infection. She says she'll follow.