Private Practice

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
Parental Guidance
and the baby are fine, but Sloan Sloan wants her mommy. She cries that she doesn't want her dad or the baby; she just wants to go home and have her life back. Addison and Pete sip coffee on a park bench, as he says he's exhausted from Lucas being awake all night. Addison says, "See, that's what I'm talking about: You're a wreck." Pete's all, "That's what you were talking about? To who?" But it was just in her head. Then she makes it about herself, of course, and talks about Sloan Sloan, who hasn't even been counseled or thought about adoption. Addison thinks it's her responsibility to give her her options, but Mark really wants her to have the baby. Pete doesn't think there's a debate: It's her responsibility to counsel her. Addison tells Pete that when she was with Mark, she got pregnant and decided not to keep it, even though he really wanted to. Pete says one thing can't inform the other, and she has to give Sloan Sloan the options. Then he tells her he's sorry; that sounds awful. And they snuggle on the bench, which I think is weird for colleagues to do.

Sloan Sloan's hospital room. Mark's holding her hand when Sam comes in, and luckily she's asleep so that Sam can lecture Mark about how whatever's going on with Mark isn't as bad as what's going on with Addison. Sam says he's not going to let Addison be Mark's landing pad. Mark wonders why Sam cares (he asks it twice), which is a stupid question, because they are all supposed to be friends, right? Sam keeps it mysterious, though (and stupid), by saying, "I just care." Oceanside. Charlotte finds Cooper to tell him she isn't sure when she'll be home since she has a staff meeting, to which he replies, "You lied." The natural response, of course. He says he just wants to know why, and she says she told him she doesn't want to go there. He asks if she was ever going to marry him, so she drags him into a room and shuts the door. We just hear their muffled screams.

Sloan's apparently wandering the building, since he finds Pete with Lucas in Pete's office at Pacific Wellcare. He wonders if Pete's seen Addison, but Pete hasn't recently. Mark asks if that's his son, and Pete says yeah. Sloan can't believe Naomi's cool with him bringing his kid to work, then he says this is all about him (see why he and Addison are perfect for each other?) because he's about to have a baby. Or, you know, his daughter is but she's young and will need help. Then he says he doesn't think he's held a baby other than during his peds rotation, so Pete lets him hold Lucas. Mark looks freaked and awkwardly says, "Hi" to Lucas. Then he says, "Wow, you're cute." Pete sits down, exhausted.

Back in the conference room, Charlotte and Cooper are still fighting. She asks if he thinks it's her favorite hobby to sit around dreaming up ways to emasculate him. He says it was humiliating of her to buy him into the practice without asking; it made him less of a man. She says he made himself less of a man by spending all of his money. She wants to start over after saying that, but he says this is actually good that she's finally opening up. He says he's always there for her, but all she wants to do is screw and not talk. She says he's the pot calling the kettle back, because all he knows how to do is screw. But he says he's a whole person with friends and a practice full of patients, and what does she have? She scornfully says, "You." He tells her not to say that like it's an insult, because he's not the freak who got fired for being heartless. She says no, he's the freak who needed her to bail him out, which proves she's not heartless. He says she's such a bitch that she can't let it not be about the money. She says she does what she has to do to get things done, so what if she doesn't go all crybaby. He says it's not about crying; it's about being a normal woman for once. She says it's not her fault he's not a man. He says he's full of hatred right now, and she tells him to join the club.

Addison's examining Sloan Sloan's baby, and showing her that the heartbeat's strong. She asks Sloan Sloan if anyone has talked to her about adoption, and Sloan Sloan thinks it's just like in Juno so Addison has to explain what adoption is to her. Sloan Sloan asks Addison not to tell Mark about this conversation, and Addison says she's her doctor so she can't. So Sloan Sloan wants to know more.

Cooper says they're breaking up. Charlotte tries to make it just a fight, but he says he's done. She says this is the problem: He won't man up and face stuff. He says that the problem is actually that she's a sex toy he found on the internet. She's just a trashy little girl who's trying to please her dead daddy, and he shouldn't have expected much from her. "My bad." Charlotte says he acts warm, cute, and cuddly, but he's the one who's heartless. He's a cold, miserable bastard who doesn't know a thing about forgiveness. He says she screwed another man and he forgave her. She says that was just sex, and she was talking about them, about love. He's supposed to love her. Um, what? She cheated on him and her defense is, "You were supposed to love me." He asks if she was ever planning on marrying him, and she says it doesn't matter now, does it. Well, it might, but if you don't reply, you won't really know. They're both idiots.

Hoarder Home. Andrea doesn't want them to come and take Cody. Violet says they don't want to, so if they can show DCFS they're fixing the problem, they'll do everything they can to keep him with her. Cody asks Andrea to throw some stuff out, and Violet asks if he can go to his room so the two of them can talk. Cody gives her a pep talk, telling her to listen to Violet because he knows she can do it. Violet picks up a garbage bag, but Andrea cries that she can't throw it out. Violet says this stuff isn't filling up the hole from divorce and losing her daughter, that this stuff isn't working anymore. Violet starts grilling Andrea about everything: the divorce, the deaths. Andrea says it's her fault for leaving him, because they wouldn't have been in the wreck if she hadn't left him. She starts crying and screaming and throwing stuff out the front door, just like Cooper said. Cody comes out while she's doing it and watches. Andrea says Maddy was only 4 1/2 and she made her go with her father because she felt guilty since he loved her and the kids, but she didn't want him. The social worker comes, and Andrea cries that they can't take him. Violet asks if she sees what she just did, throwing stuff out. The social worker walks in and Violet tells her they're just doing a little house cleaning. How profound.

Dell gets in the elevator, where Pete and Lucas are. He says he's sorry for everything, and Pete tells him it's quite a punch he has. They both smile, and then Dell gets off on his floor and asks if Pete's coming. Pete says he's just riding up and down since Lucas likes the motion. Mark and Addison are lying in bed after sex, and he says he doesn't care what Sam says; this is ideal. She asks what Sam said, and Mark says, "Nothing," but repeats that this is ideal. He says with three parents no one gets overwhelmed and everyone gets to have a life. He says this is their second chance. Addison asks him what if there wasn't a baby; would he still want to move down here, join the practice, and be with her? She says she's lonely enough to say yes if he asks again, so she needs him to not ask again if it's just heartbreak or the baby, but if it is about her, to please ask again. He doesn't ask again, of course, because he's not leaving Grey's. He says, "I'm sorry, Red," and she says she is too. Happy for that show, sad for us.

Naomi's. Betsey's playing with her stuffed animals when Dell comes in and tells her he was mad at her mom, and he made a mistake because he was scared and was trying to protect Betsey. He says it was a mistake not to let her say goodbye. He should have let them say goodbye to each other. He says he's so sorry, that grownups get scared, too, and don't always know what to do. Maya and Naomi listen from the next room as Dell cries. Betsey breaks down and says

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Private Practice




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