I go on vacation and somehow return to the exact storyline we were on last time I recapped this show three weeks ago. Thanks to LuluBates for filling in last week. Apparently, we are somehow six weeks post-Pete's fever this week, and Addison's all fully bonded with Lucas, like a mother. She goes home to them at night, even after making googly eyes at Sam during the day. She and Pete tell each other they love each other, but then Violet comes home. That's okay, though, because Vanessa dumps Sam when she asks him if he loves Addison and he doesn't answer. They all spend the episode working on our Patient of Three Weeks, Kayla. They even get the help of a new fancy doctor and her "fellow," one Dr. Shepherd. That's right, folks: Derek's little sister is all grown up and doing neurosurgery. She thinks she can do an experimental procedure to bring back Kayla. Addison and Vanessa are united against it, but Eddie wants it, so they go ahead. It works, but Addison has to save the babies, so she lectures Amelia (that's Little Shepherd) about it anyway. Then she goes home to Pete, which is when Violet shows up.
Meanwhile, Sheldon somehow ends up trying to play matchmaker for Charlotte and Cooper, which is just dumb. It doesn't work, even after they teach senior citizens sex ed together, and get an oldster to choose love over sex (because he has prostate cancer and the treatment could render him impotent). Charlotte and Cooper bicker and then apologize and make up, but he still refuses to have drinks with her, though he's not sure why. Sheldon will still be her friend, though.
Over at Pacific Wellcare, Naomi's still gone and Fife's wanting her back. He enlists Pete's help, then ends up telling him what happened. They all have drinks and Coop and Pete tell Fife to move on. He hits on a lady and gets her number, but won't call her. He's sure Naomi's coming back to him. If she's been gone six weeks with no contact, I'm thinking he really should move on. Although, hey, just when you don't expect them to return, they show up, all, "I want to see Lucas," like Violet. I'm sure we're supposed to feel for Addison, but why can't she still be with Pete even if Violet sees her child? I guess because she has to pretend she's the actual mother, which is just too weird anyway.
Even in the midst of a storyline that continues across at least three episodes, this show doesn't lower itself to offering previouslies, so we jump right in: Addison shows up at the hospital, carrying Lucas so we know just how attached she's gotten to him. Charlotte asks why she has "that baby" here, so we know just how cold and heartless Charlotte still is. Then Charlotte fills Addison in on why she paged her: Coma surrogate Kayla's husband, Eddie, is calling in the "big guns," in the form of a doctor named Ginsberg. Addison gives Lucas to a stunned Charlotte so she can get on this case. Charlotte introduces herself to Lucas.
In Kayla's room, Eddie's telling her stories about their kids and then tells Addison that Dr. Ginsberg is going to come and wake Kayla up. Addison doesn't want him to get her hopes up, but he thinks he'll get their miracle and wonders why Addison can't just believe. He says he unplugged the love of his life, and she didn't die, which has to man something. Just then, in walks former SNL cast member Nora Dunn, playing the famous Dr. Ginsberg. She doesn't even know who Addison is, so ... burn! She then snottily asks Eddie to leave, which he's fine with: "Whatever it takes." Dr. Ginsberg is basically cold and brusque and doesn't even pay attention to what Addison has to say. Then she looks behind Addison and says, "Thank you for joining us, Dr. Shepherd." Addison greets a cute girl as Amy, and Dr. Ginsberg is surprised to learn they know each other, until Addison explains she was married to her brother. So, here we have Amy, who wants to be called Amelia now, but with me she'll have to settle for Little Shepherd.
Addison and Little Shepherd catch up in the hallway. She didn't want to spoil the surprise of coming by telling her. Turns out Derek didn't tell Addison that Little Shepherd's a neurosurgeon or that she's a fellow for Dr. Ginsberg. Blah, blah, smalltalk. Then Sam comes in and Amy tells him he's still hot. Charlotte brings Lucas back to Addison, since the nanny didn't show, and Little Shepherd thinks there's a lot of stuff Derek didn't tell, but Addison explains he's her boyfriend's baby, not hers. Ginsberg calls Little Shepherd away, so Amy says they'll talk later, and she's missed them. Sam calls Little Shepherd "Hurricane Amelia," and Addison wonders what kind of family is it where the black sheep ends up being a neurosurgeon. Uh, isn't the black sheep in Addison's own family a neurosurgeon? Sam tells Addison how great she is with Lucas, and he's all sweet. Vanessa walks in in the background, so when Addison and Lucas leave, he walks to her. She's sad, because she thinks Kayla being in a coma is her fault. Sam tries to convince her otherwise, so they kiss. She says it is, but thanks him for saying it isn't
Sheldon finds Charlotte at Oceanside and tells her he can't do the sex-ed seminar at the senior center with her, so he pitches Cooper to replace him. She watches Cooper walk by in a cape, with one of his little patients. She's like, "No!" Because he's only great with five year olds. Sheldon tells her she has to put herself out there if she wants to win Cooper back, which she tries to deny, but when he tells her his advice is brilliant, she doesn't really disagree. Meanwhile, at Pacific Wellcare, Fife and Pete are touching base on some study that doesn't matter other than it tells us Naomi's out of town, forcing these two to talk. Pete thinks William told Naomi about his ALS, and doesn't know when they're coming back. Fife wants Pete to focus on the ALS study stuff so they have a reason to. Back at Oceanside, Charlotte asks Cooper to help her at the senior sex ed. She tells him of the dangers of old people having sex, since they're all on male-enhancement drugs, and since they don't use protection since they don't have to worry about pregnancy. He tries to say no, but she says she needs a man, which seems to almost convince him. She's actually being nice, too, which also might help her case
Hospital. Dr. Ginsberg fills Addison and Eddie in on why she can't help Kayla. Eddie's surprised and tries to get her to change her mind, but she says there's nothing she can do. Just as she turns to walk away, Little Shepherd asks her, "What about cannulating the aqueduct of sylvius?" I love when they speak gibberish on this show, but she explains it means passing a stent to drain the fluid build-up. Ginsberg's annoyed at Little Shepherd for questioning her and getting Eddie's hopes up, because she says it's an experimental thing that won't work. Little Shepherd screams out her qualifications and says she can do it, so Ginsberg fires her. Addison just watches on, so above this. And I'm not even being sarcastic. She really is above this, and even I can admit that.
Senior center. Cooper and Charlotte are filling all the oldsters in on the risk of STDs in a place where they have so much leisure time and are basically old sluts. Charlotte urges them to flash back to high school and start using condoms. She pulls out a goldfish bowl of them, and all the oldsters just watch without reaction. Cooper's stifling giggles as Charlotte starts to fill them in on all the ways to get pleasure safely, without penetration. One old lady gets up and leaves.
Elsewhere, it's night when Sam, Addison, Little Shepherd, and Pete are gathered around Addison's balcony table talking about Kayla's situation. Addison says she emailed the scans to Derek, who agrees with Ginsberg that the surgery isn't doable. Little Shepherd thinks Derek and Ginsberg just don't believe in anything new or cutting-edge. She's such an edgy surgeon, guys. She should probably be covered in tattoos with some piercings so we'll get just how edgy. Pete reminds her she's talking about a woman with three babies inside her. Then Lucas cries, so Pete goes to get him. Sam stares lovingly at Addison, which Little Shepherd notices. He snaps out of it and leaves, giving Little Shepherd the opportunity to ask Addison what's up with the two of them. She sensed the tension. Addison simplifies her whole long saga with Sam and then Naomi finding them, and Little Shepherd thinks it's messy. But Addison says it's actually not, and her life is working now with Pete. Little Shepherd reminds her she can tell her the truth, since she caught her with Mark and didn't tell Derek. Wow. Good sister. Addison says she chose Pete, and he has Lucas, which is great since she can't have kids. She says the only problem is that Pete's still in love with Lucas's mother. Little Shepherd: "Oh, Addie." Addison: "So, anyway, cheers." They toast, and Little Shepherd tells Addison how much she's missed her.
On their way out of the senior center, an old couple stops Cooper and Charlotte so the guy can talk to "the gentleman." Charlotte's briefly confused to whom he's referring, but lets him talk to Cooper. The guy's embarrassed, but then admits that he and Nora have been dating and their "intimate time" has been good. He says it's been more difficult lately, but not because he can't perform. It's just become uncomfortable because of his sore pelvis, which keeps him from getting in the mood. He'd like libido pills, but Cooper think he should have an exam given his discomfort. Cooper thinks he should make an appointment to see Charlotte, and the guy's like, "With a lady?" Cooper: "She's no lady." How much is everyone enjoying talking about the old guy's pelvis and "intimate time"? Come on, we all know that old people don't have sex.
Addison's putting in eye drops at the hospital so we'll know how tired she is. She finds Sam, who tells her how glad he is that Little Shepherd's here, even though they kept him up until 3 a.m. She says it's nice having someone to talk to, and he says she can talk to him, but she can't, and he knows. Little Shepherd comes in and sheepishly tells them Eddie asked her more about the surgery and she told him, and he asked her to do it. She said yes. Dramatic music leads us into commercials, including Morgan Freeman for Visa. I'm always slightly disappointed when people like him do voiceover work.
Sam, Vanessa, Charlotte, Addison, and Little Shepherd are having a very important surgery discussion outside. Little Shepherd's explaining she can do this, but she needs Addison there to make sure the babies are okay and Sam to maintain the cardiovascular function. Gee, that's convenient. Vanessa thinks it's totally reckless. This from the woman who caused the prob