Private Practice

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Mollie: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Let Me Take You To Ladytown
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This week we begin not with Addison in bed, but with Addison on the Oceanside elevator. Jaunty music plays. Just as the doors are about to close, Pete rushes in and stops them with his hand, which is totally an assy thing to do. So everything seems normal, in other words. "Hey," says Addison, looking super-hot. Pete seems agitated. He doesn't look at her. The jaunty music continues. Pete reaches out and hits the "stop" button, and says, "This isn't good -- you being here." Addison's confused. "You...want me to take the stairs?" But Pete means it's not good for them to be working together, because he can't focus with her around. Addison is now both flattered and intrigued: "Really?" He turns to look into her eyes, explaining that what distracts him is her red hair, and her brain. Addison is thrown by this surprising development, but not too thrown to respond, "I am very smart." Hee. Pete moves closer and breathes sexily: "I barely notice your incredible breasts...and your cellulite-free thighs...because your brain is such an immense turn-on to a man as highly evolved as I am." By now I am really hoping this is a dream, and that I am supposed to find it hilariously ludicrous, but it's hard to be sure, given the many other hilariously ludicrous things Pete has said in supposedly serious moments. "Yes!" says Addison, as Pete moves closer. "I can see how it might turn you on." At this, Pete grabs her and throws her against the wall, and she makes an awesomely heightened, almost drag-queeny sex-scene face before he plants his fancy lips on hers. They sink to the floor, and...

...Addison and her pillow hit the floor of her bedroom. The jaunty music stops. Dream! Phew!

Now we travel to Naomi's house -- apparently Addy was so perturbed by her dream that she stopped by before work to tell her best friend about it. ("I dreamed I had sexual chemistry with Pete! It was so weird!") "Pete is your dream guy?" Naomi scoffs. She kind of doesn't care, though, because she's trying to get Maya and Maya's friend off to school. Allowing this school-night sleepover is part of her campaign to be "the fun parent," she tells Addy as she cleans up the breakfast dishes. Addison says Pete isn't her "dream guy," he's just the guy who happened to star in her dreams for the last three nights. Naomi warns her, "Do not sleep with Pete." Addison says she doesn't want to, but her head does, to which Naomi responds, in her deepest register, "It's not your head that wants to do the sleeping. MAYA!" This time her daughter answers: "I'm right here, Mom! God!" She and her friend, both wearing school uniforms, are standing on the stairs behind Addison and Naomi. I'm very impressed by how much this little girl looks like she could be the offspring of Audra and Taye. Maya drops the sass to greet "Auntie Addison" and introduce her to her friend, Ruby. Addison wonders how long they've been standing there. "Why?" says Maya. "What are you guys talking about?" Both women answer, "Shoes," lifting their coffee cups to their mouths to disguise their obvious lie, which might be more effective if they didn't both do it at exactly the same time. Heh.

Pete starts his morning at some sort of athletic field, doing one-arm push-ups -- he's not manly just in Addison's dreams, you know! A man calls out to him -- a coach of some sort, judging by the whistle around his neck and the logo on his shirt. It looks like the costume department didn't quite have time to finish ironing it on, and I notice that the school he coaches for is apparently called "Mosaic." I guess it's a visual arts magnet school? They probably have those in California. Although I wouldn't expect them to have very good athletic programs. Coach asks Pete to "take a look at Nic," who has a cold but doesn't want to see a doctor or take any drugs. An athletic-looking black girl in a track uniform jogs over to complain, "My stride felt off. I got nothin' left at the end." Coach introduces Pete as "the doctor who helped me with my back," and Nic says, "Yeah, I've seen you here," which is both nonsensical (he didn't say "Pete's the doctor I invited to watch practice," after all) and a little bit weird (Pete hangs out at the school a lot). Pete invites Nic to "stop by later today" so he can try his holistic, no-meds magic on her. She agrees, then takes a step toward him: "Wanna race?" Wisely, Pete declines. The man's in great shape and everything, but my money's on Nic, cold and all.

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Private Practice

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