Private Practice

Episode Report Card
Mollie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Rejection Saddens Vulnerable People

The elevator dings, and out steps a sickly looking woman looking for "Dr. Sam Bennett." She falls, and he just manages to catch her. I think they should consider installing thick padding on the floors, like in a gymnastics studio, because patients are constantly collapsing here at Oceanside. Addison and Sam help the sickly woman into a chair and notice the ID bracelet and icky blood trail on her right arm. "Did you just walk right out of the hospital?" Sam asks. "We had to get out of there," says the woman. "Me and my baby. They were trying to kill us." The suspenseful drums take us to commercial.

Sam and Addison are working on sickly lady; Addison's got her hooked up to an ultrasound machine, and Sam is wiping the blood off her arm. She saw his infomercial from her hospital bed, I guess, and she wants to know whether what he said on television about "listening to the patient" was just "TV crap." "No, I meant it," says Sam. "Except for the Arm & Hammer part." Did Arm & Hammer sponsor this episode? Because honestly, the joke has run its course. Also, scriptwriters who live in cursorily researched glass houses shouldn't throw stones, if you know what I mean. Sam continues, "So you said the hospital's trying to kill you?" and sickly woman says, "Everything they do just makes me sicker." Addy asks how far along she is, and when she says, "five months," the docs eye her flat stomach and exchange looks. Sickly woman knows she looks thin, but swears she's eating -- she just has this stomach pain, she says, and nobody can figure out what's wrong. She's following Sam's advice and listening to her body, but no one believes her. "Why don't you give me your name and your hospital?" Sam asks, putting a Band-Aid on her needle-puncture wound. I think she's going to need to put more pressure on it than that, especially considering how long it's been bleeding, but hey, you're the doctor. Sickly woman refuses to give this information, and she even scribbled on her hospital bracelet so it can't be read. Which means I'll just have to keep calling her "sickly woman," I guess. Sorry about that.

In the hall, Sam and Addy tell Naomi their mystery patient won't identify herself because she's afraid they'll send her back. "You're damn right we'll send her back," says Naomi. "I'm going to get Dell to call all the area hospitals." I think I could save him some time. I'm pretty sure I know which hospital she came from. Just a hunch, but...Addy doesn't want to give up Rebecca so fast: "She was inspired by Dr. Sam!" Sam says, "Well, then, she's going to want to go back, because Dr. Sam is an idiot." I'm not sure where all this self-loathing is coming from. Is Sam that upset about the Arm & Hammer mistake? Is it belated infomercial shame? Addy really wants to keep their stray-puppy patient, and Sam agrees, but just until they find out where she really belongs. As Addison leaves, Naomi senses a chill. "Does she seem a little..." she asks her ex, who cuts her off. "Did you RSVP to her thing?" "Ohhhhh," says Naomi. "Yeah," says Sam. It's a great moment. I kind of want them to still be married, you guys.

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Private Practice




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