Back in Pete's office, Sylvie is still fretting about her love life. Her first marriage was lonely; she's afraid this one will be equally loveless, blah blah blah TMI. "He could just be using me for the sex, I suppose," she says. "We have damn good sex." Good for her! Pete tells her that her first marriage "has nothing to do with Stan," adding, "You know you can't let the past hang over you like that." "Neither can you, kid," she replies, just in case we didn't get the irony of the situation.
Cooper's in the bathroom, alone, rehearsing what he'll say to Violet. (The scene is shot so tastefully that I actually didn't realize he was supposed to be in a bathroom stall until the second time through.) He considers telling her he's not just "this guy that dates women from the internet," but then he decides (wisely) that it's not a great way to open a declaration of love. So he tries being more straightforward, and Pete exits his office just in time to overhear Cooper saying, "I'm in love with you, and have been for...ever." They need a thicker door on that bathroom. Cooper now exits the bathroom and runs into Pete, who asks, "Were you just saying 'I love you' to your genitals?" Aaaaand the Weak Punch Line of the Episode Award has been claimed! No others need apply. (Please.) "...No?" says Cooper, as confused by the idiocy of this question as the rest of us are. Pete walks off without trying to redeem himself, and Cooper hangs his head and blinks his long eyelashes and looks hopeless. Aw.
Coop finds Violet snooping around Dell's domain. "I want to talk to you," he stammers. She's even more nervous, as it happens, because he's caught her in the act of circling Cami's urine sample, which some careless person has left here unattended. "This Cami thing is eating at me," she says. "It's really all I can think about. So, if I were a patient, what would I tell myself?" Cooper offers a lame riposte that's not even worth transcribing. But it's okay, because Violet's not listening anyway. "I would tell my patient that they need to figure out a way to move on," which would require them to "get some information," which, she rationalizes, means she should steal Cami's urine. "If I know that Cami is pregnant, that would be a big step in really solidifying that it's over between me and Allan." Ya think so? Cooper sees through this nonsense and orders her not to steal the sample. She decides to change the subject and asks, "What did you want to talk to me about?" Coop tries to beg off, but Violet insists: "I need to focus on something other than Cami." So he starts to tell her he made this pact...but he catches her reaching for the urine sample. "Step away from the pee-pee!" he orders. She does, and hurries away. I think he was right not to choose this moment to declare his feelings.