Bailey takes the kidney patient Izzie almost killed on Grey's and heads straight to L.A. to enlist our cast's help in saving said patient (because her sister lives there, and is the new kidney donor). We find out soon enough that sister has HIV, but the kidney patient would rather have that than a death sentence. Charlotte lets Bailey go ahead with the surgery, despite the legal risks, so they assemble a team. One guy backs out because of the risk of losing his job, so Sam steps in, and we learn he used to be in cardio surgery, but quit for some reason.
Speaking of Sam, he spends the whole episode flirting with Bailey. She thinks he's hot stuff, too, of course. And she tells Addison that she's going through a divorce now, and that Tucker apparently was having an affair (at least emotionally) with another woman. But when Sam tries to kiss her post-surgery, she stops him. WHICH IS STUPID. Important note for anyone reading this: If someone that hot ever tries to kiss you, you let them. Period. Addison then offers to tell Bailey why Sam left cardio, but Bailey doesn't let her. This makes me speculate that Bailey and Sam will be seeing each other again, so he can tell her (and us) why he left.
Addison's still ignoring Naomi, despite her attempts to rekindle their friendship. Because Noah has his own show now, Squeaky starts visiting Addison to find out if she and Noah cheated. She surmises that they fell in love, which is worse than sex. Addison talks to Bailey about it (and Bailey finally calls her on her bullshit, which is good) and then Addison goes to Naomi to apologize for being so mean. She just felt guilty and saw herself in Naomi's eyes, which she saw as judgment. But really she was just judging herself. They're BFFs again, thank god.
Sheldon's pissed when he finds out Violet gave Lucas to Pete, so he demands a paternity test. Pete doesn't want it, because he thinks he's Lucas's dad anyway and is, frankly, scared of losing him. He goes to Violet to try to get her to sign Lucas over to him, by adding him to the birth certificate. Despite the fact that she forced Lucas on Pete, she refuses and tells him to work it out with Sheldon. Pete's the father, of course. So maybe Sheldon will go away now and stop annoying me.
Cooper helped a boy in a bubble finally kiss a girl, and realized he was jealous of the kid's relationship. So he picks up Charlotte and carries her out of the hospital. It's pretty awesome.
Previously. Oh, wait, this show doesn't do previouslies anymore. If you haven't watched before, you're going to be pretty lost. Unless you just finished watching Grey's and stuck around here for Bailey. In which case, welcome. The weecaps should catch you up, if you care what's going on with Naomi and Addison, why Violet's baby lives with Pete even though his paternity is questionable, and who on earth that squeaky-voiced woman berating Addison is.
Bailey shows up in sunny L.A., and immediately tells everyone helping her get her patient out of the ambulance that it's not a beach party. Well, actually, Miranda... this is L.A. Even the depression, gloom and heartache are all beaches and sun here. They can't help it. Addison greets Bailey at the ER entrance, and tells her there's a transplant team standing by to give Sarah her sister's kidney. Bailey says that, without the kidney, Sarah will go into full renal failure in 72 hours. Then they finally greet, all "Hi," and Bailey fills Addison in on everything that's happened on Grey's (wouldn't it have made more sense if Addison had filled Bailey in so that we'd get our "this is what's going on" since they keep skipping previouslies? I know Addison would legitimately want to know, but it seems like a waste of time to tell Private Practice viewers what's happening on Grey's; either they watch it and know, or they don't care): "Seattle Grace is merging with Mercy West, which means half the doctors in the city are out of a job. I'm getting a divorce, which means I'm a single mom. Stevens has cancer. Meredith and Derek got married on a Post-It note! And George O'Malley is dead, but you know that already. I don't sleep much anymore, because I lie awake at night and wonder where all the joy is. During the day I realize the joy packed its bags and left. The glasses of the world are half-empty." Addison: "But... you're an attending." Bailey agrees with that, and asks how Addison is.