Oceanside Wellness. The elevator dings and some tuxedoed young men get out. Cooper tells them they close early on Saturdays, but the guys insist their friend needs help, since he just got married and tonight will be his and his wife's first time. He took some pills right after the ceremony so tonight would be special, but now he's had an erection for three hours. He took four or five of them. Coop checks out the guy's johnson curiously, and the guy asks if this isn't the sexology place as his friends tee-hee in the background.
Back on the rugged mountain, Sam and Addison reunite to fill each other in on their respective patients' situations. The mother's dehydrated and Addison's afraid of "vascular collapse." (I don't know what it is, and don't care enough to look it up; sorry.) And Ever says she can feel the baby moving, but Addison can't angle in to feel the heartbeat or anything else, so there could be a placental abruption. Basically, it sucks. But Sam has bad news, too: Jake has a broken rib and is bleeding internally and needs out of here soon. Even better: Addison and Sam hiked in for three hours, so getting out isn't going to be quick. Although you'd think getting back to cell phone range wouldn't take quite as long. Addison's going to go back and forth between the two while Sam goes to get help. But first he's going to put some sort of bandage on the guy or something.
Oceanside. Charlotte comes in wearing a sexy tennis uniform, and Erection's friends are all, "Whoo!" and "Hello!" They all pretend to be the one with the erection until she tells them priapism is no joke. Oh, but come on, it totally is. Erection's friend Dan offers to be the patient and Charlotte explains the procedure: She puts a needle in the penis and slowly draws out blood, then flush it wish saline, and repeat. Erection steps forward as the other two stand down, and Charlotte takes him to her office.
Sam's bandaging up Jake and telling him that at least they both survived and the baby seems okay. Jake says he thought he could make it out, then Sam tells him Addison will be back to check up on him, but Jake starts gasping for air. Sam realizes he has a collapsed lung and pulls a Swiss Army knife from his pocket to make an incision. Then he takes some sort of tubing from his bag and sticks it in the hole. He begs Jake to stay with him, and the music builds and builds. Then... commercial. Oh no! Will he make it?