Hairkerchief is in a session with both Charlotte and Violet (awkward!) explaining the sex problems at home. He's never interested right after they have a baby, but it's lasting longer this time. After a lot of Charlotte and Violet interrupting each other to ask her a lot of questions, Charlotte says it's the couvade, which has to do with his hormones mimicking hers. Violet wants to treat it with therapy, Charlotte would rather use supplements. Either way, it won't take long to get him back to his old self. Hairkerchief says she loves her husband and intimacy, but they have six kids already and can't use birth control. So shed like them to please keep the couvade going permanently. They fill Coop in, and Charlotte's okay with them not having sex, so he's a jerk to her about it and says he asked Violet to help and doesn't need Charlotte tossing around words like "oral" and "anal." Uh, Coop? You're the one tossing those words around. Violet thinks that a woman feeling something shouldn't have to keep herself from acting on it. Meaning, Violet wants to have sex with the Captain, and the woman can have sex, too. Cooper thinks they need to talk to Shimmon, and he'll be the one to do it since he's a man.
The Captain and Addison are back at the office; he's still talking about her surgery, and she's like, "I... yes." Because she wants him to shut up. She thanks him for lunch, but says she's busy and leaves him standing there. Where Violet's ass happens to be in his line of sight again. They introduce themselves and she seems to like calling him "Captain." It's dumb.
Sam's at Naomi's, where the women are yelling at him about what happened. Naomi says she was ditching school with a boy and Maya's strongest protest is, "His name is Dink." Sam thought she was just friends with him, and Naomi's annoyed Sam knew about Dink at all. They ask Maya if she and Dink are having sex. She says no, but Naomi says they can't trust her when she's showing such poor judgment. Maya asks if having a boyfriend is poor judgment, and Naomi says yes, because, "Did I say you could have a boyfriend? Did I say you could talk to boys? Did I say you could even be around a boy?" She's in full-on, hysterical mom mode, and Sam asks her to calm down and discuss this rationally. Maya says that's fine and maybe Mom wouldn't be so irrational if she had a boyfriend. Naomi's going to kill Maya for that, so Sam tells her to go pack a bag. He tells Naomi he has this, since she's been doing all the parenting. Naomi says he better, since his is their child.