Well, the baby killers at Oceanside Wellness are at it again. Except this time instead of the writers being baby killers, this time THE BABIES ARE THE KILLERS. Specifically, the demon seed of a rich white couple has turned into sociopathic half-formed KILLERS who are slowly sucking the life from their loving surrogate who just wanted to put some food on her table. Her poor sad sack blue collar husband watches over his comatose wife really wishing he had gone to college and gotten a better paying job, because clearly, if he had only taken international relations instead of shop he would not be in this mess. Okay, I don't actually know that he is a blue collar worker, but he is acting like one. It could just be the fact that he is Billy Riggins in real life and I can't separate the actor from his craft. Anyway, he's making very mournful eyes at his wife, but outside her room Addison and Sam are boning each other with their own mournful eyes. You see, they got busted snuggling by Naomi and now Naomi is not talking to Addison and the four horsemen of the apocalypse are en route to Santa Monica or whatever. Sam claims that Naomi is totally justified in her anger and Addison should just bonk his brains out already so that Naomi's anger is rational. Addison is shocked (SHOCKED!) that Sam would suggest they actually have sex (Again. Again?) because Naomi is her EVERYTHING and while she will flirt madly with her ex-husband and have (apparently unmemorable) sex with him, SHE WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM. I actually can't remember if these two have actually done IT in the sixth grade sense of the word. But I'm with Sam on this: If Naomi already thinks you did it and your end goal is to do it, JUST DO IT (all apologies to Nike). Addison then points out that Sam has a girlfriend and she is dating Pete so really this whole conversation is just for giggles. Who are these people? Just date each other already! Or don't! Just shut up about it! Addison wanders back into coma girl's room where her husband is blubbering in her general direction and she pats him gingerly on the back while trying to keep the tears off her Chanel. Billy Riggins finally announces that he wants to pull the plug on his wife because she wouldn't want to live like this. I am not crying. Okay, fine, I am. I hate this dumb show.
Addison wisely seeks counsel before unplugging a woman carrying three paid-for babies. That is how this show is different from Grey's Anatomy. She has learned! Grown even! Anyway, Sam and Addison both feel the need to honor Billy Riggins' wishes despite the fact it is more than a little unsavory to simultaneously let three babies die. But if a baby is not in jeopardy then it is not Private Practice now is it? The parents of the triplets obviously are not keen on the plan. Those are THEIR BABIES in that woman's stomach! Doesn't he understand he would be KILLING BABIES if he takes his wife off the respirator? Billy Riggins simply does not care because a) the dumb babies killed his wife first and thus b) he does not want his wife being used as a human incubator to bring the little sociopaths into the world. I mean, have they seen Alien? That is not a movie you want to reenact. Everyone stares at each other. I think in international relations they would call this "détente." Not that Billy Riggins would know that.