Project Runway

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Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now!
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I Don't Wanna Grow Up... To Wear That

Heidi thinks that Jonathan's little girl outfit looks uncomfortable. The little girl says that the bolero is pushing into her skin. Nina thinks that, unlike Janeane, he has OVER-designed his look. Jonathan acknowledges that he was taking a risk. Michael, with his usual hyperbolic flair, says that his model looks like she got caught in a tornado of toilet paper. This makes his model and Amy giggle. Sorry, I still like it. I like toilet paper too. Life would suck without it.

Michael lets loose on Amy. He thinks the little girl looked like she grabbed what she could in a burning house. He thinks that the pants are a train wreck. Nina finds the entire effect confusing and weird. Heidi says that it's "hideous." Fuck them, Amy. Seriously, this is making me mad and I don't know why. The little girl says that she actually likes the outfit she's wearing. Michael asks her which piece she prefers and she says the sweater. He asks if she would wear everything from the outfit together and she replies that she would trust Amy's fashion sense. How freaking cute is that? Tory doesn't like the color palette. Amy replies that she doesn't find it unappealing, yet she's aware that it's a "different" color combo. That's so diplomatic.

The judges confer. Nina found Jesse's looks traditional but humorous. Michael brings up how nice the tailored coat was. They all feel like he showed off his model to her best effect. They thought Seth Aaron's look would be very appealing to children. Michael thought that Jay's look was chic yet youthful. Nina thinks that the styling was key.

Michael grunts about Amy's pants. Heidi says that she wouldn't have been able to guess that Amy made them. Michael says that she was just being different for the sake of being different. Tory says that she doesn't find blue and orange complementary and everyone agrees with her, except Auburn University alumni. But, they're stupid, so maybe Tory's right. Roll Tide. They felt that Janeane's looks were really cheap, especially the jacket for the model. They felt that Jonathan over-conceptualized his outfits. Nina brings up a good point, where would the people wearing those outfits be going? Perhaps a wedding? A seance? They've made their decision.

The designers return to the stage. Jesse is in. Seth Aaron wins! Jay seems a bit disappointed. Seth Aaron says that his daughter is going to be very happy. He interviews that he's glad the judges got it. Jay is in. Jonathan is in. It's down to Amy and Janeane. Heidi tells Amy that her colors were bizarre. It was a mess. She tells Janeane that she was boring. Amy...is in. She crosses the stage to hug Janeane before she leaves the runway. Janeane gets her kisses and leaves. She interviews tearfully that it sucked that the judges hated her stuff so much, but she believes that it will make her better. She says that she won't be quitting because Heidi Klum doesn't want to wear her stuff. Itsy bitsy grudge happening there. She vows to be represented in a national magazine in the next few years. Hmm. We'll see. Good luck, Janeane!

Jeff Long is a writer/actor in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com.

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Project Runway

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