Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
A Look in the Line
being pretty glib about the work that he's had moments really to produce. Tim interjects that this meeting is about trying to figure out what the problems with the designs are.

They move on to Andy where Heidi says that he's off to a good start. She tells him to use the "inspiration" that he got from her line and take it to the next level. Mondo who we see listening to this, interviews that dealing with all of the personalities on this show has been difficult and this critique was the icing on the cake. He goes into the break room and pouts. He's drained because half of the day is over and he has to start over. Christopher comes in to console him. He tells Mondo to not let go of his voice, because he thinks he could maybe win the whole show.

Back in the workroom, Heidi likes April's work. Now there's Gretchen. Heidi doesn't like Gretchen's fabrics. She reminds her that, if Gretchen were to win, the design would have to be made in the fabrics of Heidi's line. Now, that's fairly reasonable. Heidi's a bitch and all, but it makes sense. Gretchen is super passive-aggressive about the critique and throws her own fabrics across the room, because she doesn't want to talk about fabric. April interviews that Gretchen can't take criticism and can be pretty disrespectful. I mean, I kind of admire her push back right now, but, ultimately, she's wrong. She interviews that she's bummed about having to use the same fabric that everyone else is using, which is kind of second grade.

Other Michael describes his look for Heidi, which is pretty simple. April interviews that it's all he can do. Why are they so nasty to this guy? Heidi likes the look and commends him for making it, while all the while being a guy who can't sew. Who said that? Oh that's right, she's not here anymore. Ouch, Heidi.

Finished consulting, Heidi informs them that she wants to see three looks total for the challenge. Gretchen interviews facetiously that she is "stoked." Mondo has his back to her and is "blocking her out of [his] life." She says that they don't have to do it alone though. She's sending in help. Uh oh. Other Michael says he'd feel better doing it alone. Of course you would, because you know who she's sending in. First, they're going back to Mood.

Back from Mood, Tim announces that he's sending in this help we've heard about. And, you guessed it, it's a group of the former designers. Here we've got our Valerie and Ivy and Casanova and Cute Michael and AJ and Peach. The designers get to choose which loser they want to work with. Mondo chooses first and, without hesitation, he goes with Valerie. Gretchen says she had such a fun time with Casanova in a previous challenge that she'd like to do it again. Ah Casanova. We have missed you. Christopher chooses Ivy. Bleh. Other Michael chooses AJ. April says that she's going to go with "the hot blonde." It's Peach! They're reunited! Andy chooses Cute Michael then interviews about how he's worried about his fashion vocabulary. Geez, they've gone a long way on this show towards making Cute Michael sound completely remedial.

Gretchen's talk-free workroom (at least talk that's not about Gretchen) is no longer. Everyone's all chatty Cathy once more. So, a lot of them are in the sewing room. Ivy is in front of Other Michael. She asks him how it feels to have gotten this far in the competition. He says it has been great. Then, like a freaking 6th grader, she says that he's a cheater. Wha? Oh my God, Ivy is such an uncontrollable bitch. Other Michael, unfortunately, is completely defenseless against this sort of thing. I wish I could inhabit his body for a few moments to properly fight back. And shave. He asks her what she's talking about and Ivy, who has clearly been chomping at the bit to say this crap and looks like she's about to explode from the build up of bile, says that during the Jackie Kennedy challenge he used tape on his model and that was somehow illegal? Other Michael interviews that his model uses tape all of the time. It wasn't even his. And, don't they use tape on actual runways? Ivy is a total asshole. She has, however, just highlighted what Other Michael is actually very good at. You wouldn't think it from having a front row view of his taste level, but the guy is a pretty good stylist. His stuff looks better coming down the runway than anywhere else. That's a pretty hard thing to accomplish.

He doesn't know what to do and the other designers in the room don't come to his defense at all. I can't tell you how stupid I find this. Ivy interviews that Other Michael has no integrity and is taking a spot in the competition that belongs to either her or Valerie or Cute Michael. NEWSFLASH -- neither you nor Valerie went home during the Jackie challenge and, had Cute Michael not lost, Valerie would have gotten the boot -- not Other Michael. Even with a boob hanging out, there's no way they could have enjoyed his look less than they did Valerie's.

This whole Other Michael thing has gone on far too long and makes every one of these designers look like dick faces. From time to time in our lives, there are people near us who achieve some sort of success that we feel they don't deserve. More importantly, we innately feel like their success belonged to us and was somehow stolen from us. These people I like to call Shia LaBeoufs. But, as I mentioned earlier, success is not a zero-sum proposition. Sure, only one person is going to win this game, but Other Michael succeeding in the world does not mean that you, Ivy, cannot achieve success. What can affect your success? Looking like a complete fucking pill in front of the entire world and not having the good sense to let bygones be shits and giggles during a challenge that doesn't even have real stakes for you. If, like Mondo (and I thought Cute Michael, but he's just sitting there kind of grinning at this showdown), she'd just embraced Other Michael for who he was instead of constantly calling him names for stuff that he DOESN'T KNOW -- I mean, what a fucking snob! Not everyone got to study! It's an actually admirable trait that he was able to teach himself to sew. Sorry that you're better at it, Ivy. Take your superior knowledge and go into the world and knock 'em dead. Don't sit around picking on a guy that you know is less talented than you. Unless you don't know that.

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