Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C+ | 1082 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Sew-Sew

Here's some douchebag who talks about being FOURTEEN and in design and, um, straight. It's clearly an important label for him, the straight designer thing. And, I can understand that, especially if he's been called a fag since he was 14. But, actually being a fag is a bigger deal. So, dude with your fucking insanely uncool bowler hat, especially when paired with your fairly shapeless untucked pink shirt? I don't know. Get over your shit. God, I hate everything right now. He tells us that he wasn't worried about people saying shit to him because he had a short temper and would "straighten them out." He lives in Greenwich, Connecticut. The mannequins are having strokes. He tells us that he likes tough looks on women and he's "not so tender" on men. What the FUCK is he wearing? You're not a waif, Jason. You should be showing off your tits, which you apparently work for per the video of you punching a bag over your koi pond in CT. Jason tells us that he's wearing his ill-fitting and perfectly stupid hat as a way to intimidate his fellow designers. He feels that it gives him the look of a Roman soldier and some sort of mohawk thing. I know. I don't really have anything to say about that.

Jason meets Gretchen on the street. She is from Portland and seems to be perfectly lovely. Then, he asks her what NATIONALITY she is. No lie. She gives a really good attempt at not looking at him like an insane person for that being the first question he asks her. Then, she spouts out a whole bunch of white people places. She's from ALL of them, Jason, you moron. I appreciate that you want to have sex with Gretchen. We get it, you like the cervix. I don't want to write "vagina" for you. She hates you though. Her cervix AND her vagina are in agreement. Somebody help Gretchen! She wants to get away from him.

Mondo, Peach, and Nicholas all meet on some boat that seems completely unnecessary. Why on a boat? Just for fun? There's no fun on PR! Ivy joins them. There's a bunch of weird talk about how people name their collections. It's embarrassing. Now, here's April and Christopher talking about their styles. They seem genuine and serious. However, Chris has such a mannered pair of eyebrows and I think that maybe he has tweezed his forehead ala Queen Elizabeth I/Cindy Crawford. The mannequins don't know what to think about him. April says that she's confident in her talents. They meet Gretchen and Jason on the street where April tells us that she designs fucked up stuff.

Project Runway

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