Project Runway

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Where the Frock Hits the Fan
inspiration. Althea quickly grabs St. Tropez; Gordana goes for New York. For some reason the photo the producers have chosen to embody New York City and inspire the designer is a really obtusely cropped shot of Central Park from high up in some building on what looks like 53rd street. I only recognized the view because my old office building is in the picture. Also, Chanel's U.S. headquarters are housed in the building. Maybe Michael was using a telephoto lens to try and catch a glimpse of Chanel's designs. Irina opts for Aspen because she is all about fur and outerwear. Maybe a PETA protester will douse her in red paint Carrie-style, which would certainly add some drama to the runway. Christopher picks Santa Fe, leaving Logan with Hollywood. Logan does a sarcastic victory fist pump that causes even Tim to crack a smile and makes me heart Logan even more even if he is just an average designer with kind of greasy hair. Tim sums up the bad news: First, the challenge is stupid. Second, they only have $150 at Mood. Third, it's a one-day challenge.

Everyone settles down to sketch and pretend they have any freakin' idea what fashion-forward people in Santa Fe or Greece wear. Carol Hannah thinks of Palm Beach as a town that is simultaneously relaxed and put together. I can't remember if Palm Beach is in Florida or California but I am sure she is right, either way. Wait, Palm Springs is in California (I remember this wholly because of the reality television based at the Parker hotel in Palm Springs), so Palm Beach must be in Florida. Okay then. Althea knows that there are yachts in St. Tropez (she saw them in the picture she was given) but she also knows it is an old fishing town and she wants to reflect both of those in her designs. So...fish nets and a picture of Paris Hilton and the Shah of Dubai? Gordana is designing for the sophisticated independent woman who lives on Park Avenue in New York City. Does the Macy's accessory wall have either a tiny dog or a doorman, so she can really exemplify the style? Tim ushers everyone off to Mood with a rousing "C'mon it will be fun!" Nicolas mutters something about denim, which just sounds all sorts of wrong, but I've never been to Greece either, so what do I know? Logan is looking for anything that jumps out at him, which I can only assume will be a swarm of teenage girls. Gordana spends all her money on jewels while Irina complains that she can't put together a winter look on that budget. Glad to see she is getting in the snooty Aspen mindset!

Back at the work room, Logan is putting together a bohemian Hollywood look with super skinny jeans. Well, Hollywood is filled with tourists and wannabe starlets, so I guess that look could work. Irina is making a three-piece outfit with pants, cowl-neck sweater, and a vest with a hood. Nicolas is taking a risk by designing a look for a tomboy fantasy of a Greek. He is fully aware that they are either going to love it or tear it apart. Hey Nic, are you sure that is such a good idea at this point in the competition? Why not take a card from Althea's deck and create safe looks that get you through to the next round? Carol Hannah is creating a dress out of a very busy print, but may not have quite enough fabric to finish the look. Irina takes a moment to complain about how all the other designers are, like, laughing and having fun in the workroom when they should be working. How dare they? Irina, it probably takes just as long to go bitch about everyone behind their backs as it does to, like, have fun. TMYK! Gordana knows from experience that people can crack under all the pressure, but she is going to stay strong (with the help of some Croatian homebrew she stashed in the lounge). Christopher adds that designing a look for Michael Kors based on his family vacation photos is nerve wracking and Nicolas agrees. He just wants everything to be perfect. Meaning, of course, it will not be perfect.

Time is passing. We know this due to the shot of traffic moving really quickly on the streets of Los Angeles. As anyone who has ever been to LA or watched Entourage knows, moving is not the normal state of affairs for Los Angeles cars. So obviously the producers set up time-lapse photography to show time lapsing. Which may not be a word, but who cares when there are clothes being sewn. I really wish I had an old Bravo episode of this show to see how much time was spent showing the designers sewing. Today we had six minutes of set up and shopping and it looks like the rest of the time will be spent watching designers stare mutely at mannequins. I swear there used to be more action and backtalk and less intense cutting. But I could be wrong. So Althea is obviously sewing. As are Carol Hannah, Irina, Nicolas, Gordana, and Logan. Christopher, however, is busy deluding himself. He claims that he has been at the top for most of the challenges. And yes, there were a few high points in his Project Runway tenure, but the low points were so very very low that they far out shine the earlier work. It's like a supernova of ugly next to a dying star of good taste. As he stitches zebra stripes onto some tan leather, he explains that he just needs to remind the judge's of his sophistication. Er...good start there, Christopher. Gordana is making a grey dress with a simple silhouette. Rather, she is planning on making a simple dress, but she hasn't started it yet because she is hand-crafting a bejeweled necklace. It appears to be made out of tissue paper, glue, and rhinestones, but in, you know, a nice way. Tim has come in for his whirlwind design critique and is very concerned that Gordana will be showing nothing but a necklace. How very brave! And outré! And avant something. She would make New York City proud if she sent a model wearing nothing but a necklace down the runway. She would probably get a job offer at Harry Winston or something. By the way, the outfit that Gordana is wearing today looks like she should be at the Laundromat washing absolutely everything else she owns including the curtains, because there is no other acceptable excuse for wearing a brown crewneck long sleeved t-shirt under a green-ish paisley spaghetti strap dress. Okay, no other acceptable excuse except new motherhood and Gordana is several replacement estrogen therapies past that. Can one of you please remind her that she is on national television please? Good grief. Althea's making a pair of short shorts and a menswear-inspired tunic. She is taking her time with the sewing, but is happy with her progress because she thinks St. Tropez is all about looking expensive and exquisite tailoring. (I am pretty sure that is a euphemism for plastic surgery.) Apparently Christopher thinks Santa Fe is the Tex-Mex restaurant at the mall in Shakopee, Minn., because he is making a "flowy little dress" out of a baby blue top with enormous sleeves and a deep v-neck showing a white tank dress underneath and a sheer brown full skirt. When Tim expresses doubt about the originality of the look Christopher swears that his unique handmade leather belt with yellow diamonds (and pink hearts, green clovers, and I really want Lucky Charms) will totally bring the look together. Tim begs him to think "sophistication" and then Tim makes Christopher write down the word a hundred times. Good effort, Tim, but I don't think there is any hope. Irina takes a moment to remind everyone that she is a bitch and can't figure out why Christopher is still there. She thinks his outfit looks like something an Amish woman would wear, which is pretty harsh... to the Amish. I mean come on Irina, if someone is going all rumspringa are they really going for a light blue Sunday School dress?? No. So if you are going to diss anyone Irina, go for the Lutherans. Because that dress has Lutheran bridesmaid written all over it. Tim is mystified by the amount of fabric on Carol Hannah's dress form. She explains that she wants a long flowy dress with a lot of pattern and as soon as Tim stops rubbing his eyes from the after effects of Christopher's latest fashion travesty, he can't help but wonder if Carol Hannah has fallen und

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Project Runway

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