Hey everybody! Firstly, great work from Al Lowe and LuluBates as they eased us into life at Lifetime. Here's the beginning and-- look there! It's the Empire State Building! Who could imagine such luck? I have completely avoided Project Runway in Los Angeles. Sorry LA, I wanted no part of you.
Perhaps I shouldn't have celebrated so soon? Here's our first designer, walking down the sidewalk amidst a bunch of New Yorkers who are most likely annoyed to be a part of the proceedings. He tells us that he wants to be a fashion icon. His name is Seth Aaron Henderson and he's 37 and from Vancouver, Washington. Seth has the hair of Stephan Jenkins circa 1998. This is no good. He wants to be a member of the same club as Dior, Tom Ford, and Karl Lagerfeld. My initial feeling about Seth is that I don't like him. True, this is based primarily on his choice of hairstyle, but I feel OK with that. If he donates his bone marrow to a stranger or something, I'll be happy to change that opinion, but for now, I'm suspicious. As we see him entering an empty apartment, he says that he wants to be a household name. That said, he doesn't do anything if he's not having fun. He said that -- I didn't intuit it or anything. Then, he takes a Nestea backwards leap onto one of the empty beds and appears to break it. It seems Lifetime spared no expense when they furnished this apartment at Futon Fair. There are so many mysteries in this season premiere. We see some photos of some of his designs. He tells us that he is drawn to vintage, but he adds sophistication. The garments we see appear well-made, but it really looks like West Coast Swing warmed over. The mannequins displaying the looks are thinking, "Replace us with a pale brunette with tattoos, short bangs and red lipstick and you are officially in the Brian Setzer Orchestra."
Here's wide-eyed Janeane Marie Ceccanti who is 27 and from Portland. Hey hey, they are back at the A+las apartments. I won't do that again -- with the plus sign. Janeane tells us that she is very excited. She says that she has never been to New York and she is "dorking out" about it. She let's out an excited, "Oh my God!" when she opens the door of the girls' apartment. We see photos of her work and she says that she likes to design independent of any period. The stuff we see is pretty cool, though her clever use of detail and contrasting colors may mask a lack of an interesting silhouette. There's a strapless dress of black with white darts at the waist. The dart action is cool, but there is absolutely nothing interesting about the shape of the bodice. That, however, may be in keeping with her timeless theme. We'll see. Then, she interviews tearfully that the thought of a show at Bryant Park "obviously" makes her want to cry. The mannequins are like, "Don't start now. There will be plenty of time for tears." Agreed, mannequins, let's all calm down. She continues that being a part of Fashion Week would change her life. I swear that I'm not trying to be a curmudgeon, but I feel almost certain that there's a kind of meta-cynicism at work here. When we were first exposed to these reaching-for-the-stars reality shows, there were, of course, touching moments of people yearning for the brass ring. I believed them. Then, it seemed like the platform to yearn for the brass ring became the actual brass ring more than original brass ring, yes? It started with contestants realizing that they could get a lot of attention for being an asshole. Now, I feel like the overly emotional contestant is the goal for the majority. God, listen, I know I'm not saying anything that we don't already know. I'm just calling a little bullshit on Janeane here and I don't even think she KNOWS that she's bullshitting us. I think we're all just wired now to cry during a certain part of the interview. And, here's the thing, folks. Some of us are just criers. And, I even enjoy watching someone tell me something when they are full and engaged. But, her crying was forced and inorganic and now I've annoyed myself and am moving on.