Project Runway
Couture Du Jour

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Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now!
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Couture Du Jour

In the sewing room, Kayne of Many Colors says that he is very excited about his dress. It's something that he would make for one of his "favorite pageant girls." Laura suggests that maybe he shouldn't make a gown like he usually makes, and he quiets her with, "It's going to be very couture-esque." Saying "couture-esque" doesn't bode well for this dress looking couture... esque. Laura interviews that KoMC has some "Vegas tendencies." That sounds like the title of a play that would have been written in 1986. I'm not entirely sure that there wasn't one. Kayne's making a bodice out of a gold mesh material that Laura thinks looks like a pageant gown. Jeffrey goes further and says that it looks like a prom gown. Okay, here's my thesis: my problem with Jeffrey is that he says shit like that as an insult. It's one thing that it's true, it's another that he says it to bite, not to critique. But whatever, dude is hated.

Vincent gets the "he's wacky" soundtrack underscore as he's staring at his dress form. He interviews verbosely that his dress will look nice. Takes him like ten minutes, and I drooled on my keyboard, but he finally gets the message across. He thinks his dress is going to look great. The pattern will a) look couture, b) fall beautifully, c) fit stunningly. Better late than never, there, Vincent. Laura interviews that "Vincent is a legend in his own mind." He's also a lizard, the wind, and Richard Pryor in his own mind; but thankfully, he only makes us privy to the legend. Laura says that Vincent spends a lot of time looking at his work on the dress form and asking for opinions from the other designers -- though he's really just looking for someone to like his work as much as he does. Damn, that's harsh. Sister's gonna have her own stuff to answer for come reunion time, huh? Do you remember when Vincent told Laura to stick some Harry Winstons up her nose? It has taken me some time to really enjoy the hilarity of that moment. That, to me, may be one of the great comebacks of the Aughts. I just didn't want the season to slip by without handing out that little kudo. Seriously, it's the "No, no no no no no!" for the new century.

Laura asks Michael if he can pull off the scalloping on the bodice of his gown. He's not sure, but he's going to "damn well try." And boom, it's the end of the day.

The next morning, Jeffrey is using an electric razor in the boys' hotel room as Vincent is trying to sleep. Vincent's all, "Don't you see me sleeping?" Jeffrey just keeps on shaving, and I can't really blame him. There's full sunlight streaming into the room, so it's not like Jeffrey's grooming is the only distracting thing in that environment. And there's a camera crew. I'm sure they shave from time to time themselves, so relax, Vincent.

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Project Runway

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