The challenge this week is so tense that I actually wanted it to stop. Who's the last person you'd want to see you in the bitchiest environment on the planet? Besides Angela Lansbury. Yes, the designers' mothers (except for a few sisters) are the models for this week's challenge. The designers randomly choose moms, and the match-ups are as follows: Michael and Robert's sister, Robert and Vincent's sister, Vincent and Uli's mom, Uli and Kayne's mom, Kayne and Michael's mom, Jeffrey and Angela's mom, Laura and Jeffrey's mom, and Angela and Laura's mom. It is horrible. As a lot of moms with children in their mid-thirties or older are wont to be, a lot of the ladies aren't that slim. So there's a lot of veiled bitching about how hard the challenge is. Except Jeffrey doesn't have a veil. And he's designing for Angela's Ohio mom. And he makes her cry. Seriously, I'm a little disappointed that someone didn't knock the living hellfire out of that asshole. He has addiction problems, per his mother; which I guess explains a lot about his behavior. All I know is, I'm not much of a fighter, but bitch woulda been picking up his crack-rotted teeth after he made my mom cry. I hardly have time to be floored that Vincent wins the challenge. Or that Robert is sent home for boring the hell out of everyone once again. Or that Laura is pregnant with the final member of her personal polo team. He can make as much kerfuffle over editing and stress and competition that he wants, but Jeffrey made someone's little Midwestern mother cry, and he's an asshole.
Previously: The designers had to make clothes from recycled trash. Michael won his second challenge in a row, while Alison was sent home.
Another morning at the Atlas apartments. Jeffrey tells us he's sad that Alison was auf'd because she was his best friend there. He tells us he doesn't want to "harp" on Angela anymore, then proceeds to harp, "Angela should have been on that stage being grilled in the bottom three." Okay, I'm just going to break through whatever the fourth wall of recapping is for a second: I mean, you all know I've seen the episode already. While I would normally take a moment to pick apart Jeffrey for being a dick, there's just so much more to come. I've only got so many words for that kind of behavior. I might have to make some up. I'll supply a legend if that occurs. I will, however, remark at this time that the shaved spots in Jeffrey's right eyebrow still annoy me. "Whatever, it's not summer camp," finishes Jeffrey as he walks out of his bedroom. I'm not sure if I know what he means by that. It's like Corie in Barefoot in the Park saying, "Six days does not a week make." But I kind of love that line, so maybe Jeffrey is just letting out his inner Neil Simon. Poor Jeffrey's inner Neil Simon. He's probably jaundiced from the curdled ambition and misguided need for attention flowing through Jeffrey's veins. Jeffrey's inner Neil Simon needs some sunlight. And a weekend with an iron lung.
In his interview, Michael points out that he is the first to win two challenges in Season 3. He was "amazed" at his second win. He smiled so much that he got a headache. Michael's a nice guy. I bet his inner Neil Simon is Bounty-fresh.
On the runway, Heidi enters, looking a little less ridiculous than she has in recent weeks. Slinky black top, jeans, and leather boots to the knee. Not totally un-ridiculous, as the length of the boot just sort of creates a weirdness with the line of the jeans; but not crazy. Heidi introduces the challenge: the contestants will be designing for the everyday woman. Then she introduces the models. Behind the scrim, we see a full-figured lady. Michael delicately says that, "from the silhouettes, we know they aren't our normal models."
As the models start walking out, it's pretty clear that they know the designers. Angela, of course, ever the buffoon, completely dissolves and screams, "Mom!" I still haven't figured out how they know the designers. Angela interviews that she thought they had just pulled people off of the street for the challenge. Now THAT I want to see. The homeless challenge. The goal is to create a look that works on the street and works on the street. Can't you just see Michael Kors saying, "She would never wear that. I don't even think that fabric could give her a rash. It looks like Bridget Fonda from Point Of No Return was sent to clown school instead of sassy assassin school!" Speaking of which, where the hell is Bridget Fonda? Last I heard she was having Danny Elfman babies. And a nation mourns. Anyway, Angela realized that the models weren't street people when she saw her own mom.