Project Runway
Fashion Week

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Jeff Long: A+ | Grade It Now!
Fashion Week

Jay looks really frazzled. When two sets of his headphone break, he allllllmost loses it. His girls finally show up. His explanation of the kind of walk he wants from his girls is hysterical. He says, "Really German. Like 'Hughhr.'"

We see the people arriving for the show. I spy Carson Kressley and Parker Posey, as well as a lot of the designers from earlier in the season. Heidi greets everyone on the runway. The judges are Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and Parker Posey -- who is sporting a MASSIVE fro and some sunglasses to match.

The show begins. Kara Saun comes out. She says her line is "Fantasy Fly-girl." It's a cross of aviation and technology. The girls come out. The stuff is cute. Lots of vinyl, leather, and fur. The second girl trips over the train of her dress, which is, of course, cut really low in front. We see a succession of beautifully fitted jackets, a lot of which have full shoulders and sleeves that taper to the wrist. The colors are browns and reds. Kara has a really beautiful floor-length gown that's brown and halter-styled, with one of those Kara Saun low-cut necks. There's a bow effect at the neck that is really lovely, and it's backless. It maybe wasn't the greatest idea for her to take her inspiration from a movie, because some of this is, in fact, coming off a bit costume-y. Miss Posey seems to like it, or someone told her a good joke. Kara Saun uses really beautiful fabrics -- a vinyl next to a sumptuous metallic knit. It looks really hot. Her waists are high, which I like. I see that Robert is sitting next to Parker Posey. Dude, she dates Ryan Adams. Or did. I'm not sure if they're still together. Either way, Robert? You don't stand a chance. Another girl has trouble with her train. This is not good, Kara. There's a pretty white coat with a fur collar and fur on the sleeves that has a metal buckle at the waist. I could see someone wearing that. Next is a white/silver dress with Kara's signature low neck that has that same buckle on the bodice. The entire sleeves (which come to the elbow) are fur. Now, I could see THAT at the Grammys. There's Jenny! (Why does that make me so happy?) She's wearing a floor-length white gown is cut (guess!) to the waist. She has a white stole over her right shoulder. There's Ted, Kyan, and Jai from Queer Eye. That's it! The girls all come out to applause. Daniel Franco gives a standing ovation. Her dad is taking pictures. That's so cute.

Wendy comes out next. Thank God she changed shirts. Finley looks bored. Wendy introduces herself: "As someone famously told [her] to mention, I am a mom from Virginia." We see Richard Johnson watching the show. Wendy says that her dream has come true. Is that Harvey Weinstein? The show begins. The first piece is a green quilted, fur-lined jacket over a nightgown-looking dress worn over brown slacks. The fabric of the dress is moving in between the model's legs, giving her a pronounced camel toe. The judges scribble furiously. Okay, the model takes the jacket off and it seems prettier. It's not really a dress, just a loose blouse, but the fabric does gather between the model's legs. I think that's Audrey. She has huge sunglasses on, so I can't tell. Finley is really bored. Okay, the stuff all looks not great. There's another camel toe. On the green skirt and top with green fur trim. There's a leather skirt with a top that is tan with gathering all along the bodice. It is shoulder-less, save its spaghetti straps. It may only be flattering on the bust of a size 2, really tall model, but it looks hot on her. Lots of matching suits. There's Martinique in a red suit. Girl is working it, but the suit is boring. Oh God, here's this hideous green dress that is diaphanous in the skirt area, and the bodice is a multi-colored corset. It's something that a low-budget Cinemax movie would use to indicate that they were in the South. It's Two Moon Junction. Ew. There's a Carolina Herrera rip-off in hot pink. It has an open neck, half-sleeves, and a small waist. The train is this weird diagonal that is all wrong. Very mother-of-the-bride, when the mother thinks she's cool. Here is a floor-length red gown, and it looks as if the skirt is made of felt. Camel toe. Some poor girl is forced to walk out in a completely see-through blouse. The judges go nuts with fury. Finally, it's Melissa, in some buckle-y, corseted monstrosity, bustled, yet with a short skirt. Melissa is gorgeous, but she does this dramatic double take when she was leaving. Kind of scary. When they all come back onstage, Wendy goes and picks up Finley and holds Melissa's hand as they all walk backstage. That was sweet. No matter how much I hate Wendy personally, though, her collection objectively sucked.

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