Project Runway

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Black is the New Black

Tim moves on to Althea who shows him her 13th look: a dramatically structured black leather jacket and tailored tan pants. It's a cool look, but Tim rightly expresses concern that if the jacket is not done right, it will look a little '80s. He's might have also noted that it does have a distinct Thriller vibe with the oversized shoulders. Despite all that, it does look pretty cool, and the pants are awesome. Althea says that she is very excited about the makeup she has planned, especially. "Almost messy," she says, "like [the model] has slept in it for a day." Tim says that sounds a lot like what Irina has planned. "That's Althea," Irina says, sotto voce, and I wish ANYONE would just tell her to shut up. Nobody is copying your loud ass! It's just eye shadow. Why can't Althea ever be the one to say that Irina must have copied her? Tim says he just wants to make sure it doesn't look like all the models came from one collection. Of course, they wouldn't, because Althea's models won't be wearing the dominatrix horse hats, but whatever. Althea starts crying a little, saying she's getting kind of overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with hate for Irina? Probably. I wouldn't blame her. Tim says her work is on a trajectory and that this is a make it work moment. "Hang in there," he adds, and moves on to Carol Hannah.

Our little sicko is doing only okay-ish. She says she feels like she hasn't had enough rest, and realizes she won't be getting any. She shows Tim a dress she's doing for the 13th look. It's very beautiful, but -- how can we put this? -- it's been done. Grecian draping. Seen it. The almost-teal blue color, however, is outstanding, and it looks very well made. Tim says he knows she's tired, but that's why it's good that she has Christopher. CH gives Christopher a little high five on that note, and they all buckle down for their midnight deadline.

OMG, have y'all seen the commercial for "Fa la la la Lifetime?" Tim Gunn, you are a national treasure.

The next day, our little CH is feeling better and has more energy. "I'm gonna need it!" she says, with a big smile. Indeed, Althea is instituting a no lunch/no bathroom policy for herself and Logan in order to get things done. Tim arrives for their last gather-round. "Can you believe what's going to happen to you all?" he drones. "You're going to Bryant Park." Their reactions are so telling. Althea and Carol Hannah break into huge smiles, while Irina looks like she just swallowed a roach. Tim gives them the run down that they will have until 5 p.m. that day, before returning to their hotel. "I know you're totally preoccupied," he jokes at the end, "but stop talking! You have work to do." Madness reigns. Everyone starts crazily finishing their hems, and bending over sewing machines. Gordana falls into perfect lockstep, following Irina's orders to the letter. Irina says in an interview that she's hoping she hasn't missed anything, because she doesn't want any last-minute surprises. In fact, it's Carol Hannah's who has forgotten to take care of something. She was supposed to take in one of her dresses a little bit. "If you forget one thing," she says in an interview, "it can be disastrous." Who knows if she had time to fix the dress, because they don't show us at all. Everyone leaves with stuff over their arms, so maybe they got to take a few things back to the hotel? Who knows. Suddenly, it's morning. They all have to get up at some unchristian hour like 3:15 AM, a time virtually unknown to me until we brought our daughter home last month. Now 3:15 is party time. They have to get up super early, Althea says, to get all the models and outfits prepped before the shows. "What a big day," Carol Hannah says as we see her sleepily trying to fix her hair in a dress that looks like what I wore to the senior Christmas party in 1991. "Showing at New York Fashion Week. It's a really big deal." Thank you, for that utterly shocking newsflash. The best is watching her yank on her eyelashes, no doubt trying to remove the mascara she has been storing there since her 12th birthday. Listen, I'm not hating. I think this girl is straight-up adorbs. But the eyes... I'm saying there's a direction, and that direction could be to Tammy Faye Town.

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Project Runway




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