Project Runway

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Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Cuckoo Chanel

As Emilio is packing, he tells all of the "bitches' that they will be going down at Bryant Park. He interviews that, "from my first day at the competition, I know [sic] what I'm doing for Bryant Park." Can someone tell me where the hell Emilio is from? He doesn't really have much of an accent, but he flubs tenses and pluralities like Gerard Depardieu. I know he speaks Spanish. That is all. He tells us that his collection is going to be another showstopper. Then, he tells Seth Aaron to not forget his purse. Lots of purse talk from Emilio this season. Either there's some sort of inside joke that we were not made privy too, or emasculating his fellow male designers by describing them as purse-carriers was a tactic of his. Actually, after writing that last part, I'd kind of admire him if he did that. That's some Wendy Pepper shit right there.

We see Seth Aaron scrambling to pack. He interviews that his collection will be true to his aesthetic and will be "not boring." And, fuck yeah, he thinks he can win this brioche. Downstairs on the sidewalk, all of the designers hug and say that they will see each other at Fashion Week. Then, they walk off camera, presumably to the curb where they wait anticlimactically for cabs.

Cut to three months later, Tim is flying into Vancouver, Washington. Tim is shot walking down the middle of a street in Vancouver as he VO's that he is on his way to check out Seth Aaron's collection. And, he didn't have a rental car or anything. Tim had to walk from the airport. And, Vancouver doesn't have sidewalks. Seriously, Lifetime, green screen this shit if you have to, but this feels really contrived. It's ridiculous. "Just let us get a shot of you just like walking down the middle of the street, Tim. We'll watch for traffic." I understand that we're all really stupid and apparently need visual clues a la Dora the Explorer, but I'm certain that there was a more authentic and still interesting way to do that. We come upon a little cottage with a "Beware of the Squirrel" sign in the yard. He knocks on a red door and Seth Aaron answers. He seems really excited to see Tim and gives him a big hug.

Seth Aaron interviews that he's glad to see Tim and excited to show him his collection. He takes Tim into a room that resembles a Tim Burton film or a lesbian leather club, if there is even such a thing. What would it be called? I'm guessing The Barbed Wire. Or, Spanks. Seth Aaron has already completed fifteen pieces. Tim marvels at the shear volume of work, to which Seth Aaron responds that his goal is to take twenty pieces to New York and edit there. Tim says that he hasn't seen anything like it in Project Runway history. Seth Aaron says that it's not enough for him to win, he wants to stomp the competition.

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Project Runway

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