Tim calls everyone to the runway. Commercials. This week, the poll at the end of the break is, "Whose side are you on: Vincent or Angela?" They really could have used a "none of the above" on that one.
Heidi greets the designers on the runway. She's got the prettiest red lipstick on. Oh my God, Jeffrey is dressed like a fop. I think I love it. It's so weird. Heidi introduces the judges: Vera Wang, Nina Garcia, and Tara Conner. Oh my God, Tara's hair is so big. That is one righteous fox.
The show begins with Jeffrey and Alison's design. The gown looks like Cinderella after her stepsisters beat the shit out of her when she was all trying to go to the ball, pre-fairy godmother. It seems a little like it's falling off of the model. The shoulder straps are asymmetrical, but it looks like one was ripped off and you're just seeing the slip on one shoulder. At the same time, the fabrics have some really lovely golden earth tones -- as requested. Also, it reminds me of pictures I've seen of Katharine Hepburn in a production of The Trojan Women, so I guess they stayed true to the warrior theme that Jeffrey pitched. Alison says that it would be beautiful if they had another week to work on it.
Next is Keith and Bradley's creation. It's a strapless number with lots of flowing layers. However, there are no legs. Weren't we going to get legs? There are no legs. In the front, it hits like the middle of her calf, but a lot of the other layers fall further down than that. Keith says that he is happy with the dress, but I'm gathering that Keith is pretty much happy with anything with which Keith was involved. Bradley says he felt like the dress turned out very well.
A model does this weird Auntie Mame outstretched-arm pose behind the scrim before entering. Oh God, it's Vincent's dress. It's kind of chartreuse. The skirt is not horrible and there's a nice fit at the waist, but the bust and the shoulders? No. The shoulders remind me of Edith Head's haircut. I know that makes me the gayest person EVER for even knowing who goddamn Edith Head even is, but... look that shit up, I'm right. The dress is so quaint. I can't imagine someone wearing that to compete for Miss Rhubarb Festival, much less Miss Universe. Can you imagine? All of those Miss Rhubarb bitches would be all, "Wouldn't you prefer to be at the Miss Mincemeat Festival?" Laughing all around. They won't get away with this.