Project Runway
Fit For A Queen

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
Fit For A Queen

Angela decides that she should campaign to be on Kayne of Many Colors's team. As he's busy sketching, she leans over his workspace and essentially tells him that he needs her in order to do well. "You know this too well. You're gonna need someone to pull you out of your hole." Mind your own hole, lady. Kayne of Many Colors is clearly annoyed with her; at least, his total refusal to acknowledge that she's even talking to him suggests as much. He interviews that she thinks he's a shoo-in to win the competition, but he's not looking at it like that. It looks like other people noticed Angela's maneuvering too -- at least, Jeffrey did. When Tim enters to tell the designers that their sketching time is finished, Angela finally leaves Kayne of Many Colors alone, and he looks at the camera and says, "She's getting on my nerves."

It's pitch time. Laura shows her a pretty sketch and explains that she is an architect. Jeffrey tells her that his dress would have a "strong, warrior structure." Tara smiles at him, and I can't decide if she thinks he's ridiculous or if she likes the idea.

Next up is Keith, who immediately tries to grab her chest. He's demonstrating that he would create a fitted bodice, but it looks like a boob grab. She's not having it. I think she almost screamed. Then he says really intensely that he wants to show her legs because they're VERY IMPORTANT. "They're gorgeous." She's uncomfy, Miss USA.

Like Sybil, Vincent runs through several personalities when he's describing his design for Tara. He says that he wants her entrance onstage to make people go, "Oh my God... " At least, I think that's what he was saying. He may have just floated off into a memory of that time the couch told him to cut his hair.

Kayne of Many Colors becomes Kayne of Many Blurred Colors as he races through his love of Tara, pageants, his sisters, and his sisters in pageants. He explains a design that would elongate and frame her face, which he describes as "freakin' gorgeous." We're on the same page here. She's charmed.

Robert says that he wants to make her look like J.Lo at the Oscars. The look on Tara's face suggests that she translated that as, "Your ass is fat."

Angela sits down and tells Tara that she's going to ask a few questions because "I don't sketch." She asks Tara how she feels about "umpire" waist. Several things are wrong with this: 1) Umpires are perennial losers at the Miss Universe pageant; and 2) she's trying to use the high-falutin' pronunciation of "empire," which actually sounds like "ahm-peer," but failed. And what's the point? Everyone understands "empire" pronounced the typical way. I know like three people who use the fancy pronunciation, and they're assholes. ["Hey, my mom uses the fancy pr-- yeah, good point." -- Sars] ["Just kidding, Ma!" -- Sars] Angela clearly doesn't use that pronunciation normally; she's just trying to show off. And look what has happened, she's embarrassed herself and all of Major League Baseball. Let this be a lesson to us all. Tara is not into the waistline that Angela has suggested, whether it be umpire or fancy empire. Angela also pitches full-length gloves, which gets a big pooting no.

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Project Runway




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