A model does this weird Auntie Mame outstretched-arm pose behind the scrim before entering. Oh God, it's Vincent's dress. It's kind of chartreuse. The skirt is not horrible and there's a nice fit at the waist, but the bust and the shoulders? No. The shoulders remind me of Edith Head's haircut. I know that makes me the gayest person EVER for even knowing who goddamn Edith Head even is, but... look that shit up, I'm right. The dress is so quaint. I can't imagine someone wearing that to compete for Miss Rhubarb Festival, much less Miss Universe. Can you imagine? All of those Miss Rhubarb bitches would be all, "Wouldn't you prefer to be at the Miss Mincemeat Festival?" Laughing all around. They won't get away with this.
Here is the gown a la Team Jolene. It's really lovely. It has a jeweled neckline that attaches to a strapless gown. The bodice and skirt are fitted and the skirt flares into a Chanel-like bottom. The purple organza is gorgeous too. Kayne of Many Colors says that he has never seen a gown like this at a pageant. Someone missed Miss Rhubarb 2004. Flared bottoms everywhere.
Malan's design is next. Oops. The bodice makes the model look really busty. Not in a good way. There's lots of intricate ruching on the bodice that just makes it really thick. The skirt is really too short too. And it's copper. The whole thing is a wreck. Malan interviews that he put his best foot forward. Someone needs a foot transplant. Katie says that she did the best she could with Malan's design.
Up next is Uli and Bonnie's gown. It actually resembles Keith's a lot, except it has straps. It's high-waisted and fitted at the bust. Then it flares into layers of flowing organza. There are contrasting pinkish/purplish earth tones working. It's really pretty. Tara seems to like it too.
Last, we have Laura and Michael's work. It's, uh, white. Tara said that you shouldn't use white. It's one thing to stretch the meaning of "earth tone." It's hard to stretch "no white" into "white." But the dress is really pretty. It's a simple dress -- fitted in the bust and bodice and hips, loose from below the hips to the floor. It's really pretty, though. Michael congratulates himself on his construction work on the dress.
The show is over and the designers are on the runway. The judges are scribbling. Is Vera Wang like 75 now? She's wearing a pearly lipstick that does her no favors. Team Jolene, Malan and Katie, Vincent and Angela, and Uli and Bonnie are asked to stay. Everyone else is safe. Angela is chewing on her face while Vincent grimaces, then smiles, then grimaces again. Then smiles again.