Project Runway

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Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now!
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Sweetie introduces herself next. She's a big girl, with lots of blonde hair. She says she is known as "New York City's Big-Titted Honky Soul Mama." I don't imagine that there was a lot of competition for that title, but I could be wrong. I'm not. Next is Luisa Verde. She says that she is "the first supermodel." Mmm. I thought that was Janice Dickinson. Seriously. That's not a very good tag, Luisa. Moving on -- here's Hedda Lettuce, who says in a Joan Crawford faux mid-Atlantic accent that if the designers don't make her look better than Heidi, she'll kill them. Here's Sharon Needles, who looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Vanessa Carlton. She says that sometimes she's good, sometimes she's bad, but she's always dangerous. These bitches need a writer. Here's the oddly low-key LeMay who announces that obviously she has a love of vintage clothing. I'm not sure that's obvious. She's wearing a full-length dress in a floral print. While it may actually be vintage, there's nothing obviously vintage about it.

Anita Greenkard ("with a 'k'") introduces herself. She says that she is "your South American banquet." I guess the intention behind that title is that she's sort of pan-South American? I dunno. Here's Sherry Vine. She's "kind of New York's little sex Las Vegas kitten." She has great legs. Her dress is so short that I think I might be seeing a little underbutt, but the legs are still nice. Next is Acid Betty, who is like 7 feet tall and looks kind of futuristic. She says that she's the fiercest hybrid drag queen in New York City. I believe it. She is hard-core. I'm going to assume that "hybrid" means hybrid of transvestite and transsexual? I realize that a lot of the girls up there live their lives as men, but their queens are supposed to be women. I don't think that Acid Betty is fostering that illusion. Contact me if you'd like for me to speak at the next Drag Queen Identity Symposium. Finally, we have Varla Jean Merman. She says in a twee little voice that she is a Southern Ann-Margret (then she drops her voice an octave...or two) "on steroids." She doesn't actually sound Southern to me, but whatevs. It feels a little like these girls just blindly dipped their hands into the adjective jar to decide what they were gonna be.

Chris, who seriously seems like he's on quaaludes or something right now, says that fashion is all about putting on a show. He encourages them to be as theatrical and over-the-top with their designs as they want to be. Now, they get to pick their queens. Keith gets to choose his queen first because he won the last challenge. He says that he loves a great set of legs, so he chooses Sherry Vine. Her eye shadow is really purple. As she's leaving the stage, Heidi says, "Ooh, she does have a great set of legs." Keith replies, "Hell yeah." Weird. Daniel gets to choose next. He chooses Anita Greenkard. She bows and leaves the stage. Daniel says that they both like Spanish aristocratic style, which is odd. I mean, she looks Spanish, yeah. Aristocratic? OK. He thinks it's a good match. OK.

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Project Runway

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