So, Ivy is alive. She needs to stop smoking and drinking so much Diet Coke. The challenge is to design a gown to complement a Philip Treacy hat. Treacy is on the show and seems like an awesome weirdo. Some designers are super-excited, while others are stumped. Everybody is uniform, though in their constant criticism of other designers. Casanova thinks that Other Michael makes boring shit. Kristin thinks his taste is off. Gretchen doesn't like Kristin's work and feels that April's work is too "student." And on and on and on.
Other Michael has a problem with his dress being crappy, so he starts over. Also, we learn that he has a son. April makes hot pants, and everyone acts as if she spit on a nun. Cute Michael wears possibly the most adorable work outfit of all time. He looks like a Dolce & Gabbana cobbler.
The show is perplexing. Mainly, the choices of top and bottom designers. Christopher is in the bottom, and I really don't understand. Also, Other Michael is in the top! Valerie and Cute Michael are also in the top. April and Kristin are in the bottom with Christopher. April cries backstage after the critique, and I want to hug her and make her some banana bread. And, Other Michael rips the win from Cute Michael! Everyone, EVERYONE is shocked. Me, too. And, Kristin goes home.
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Previously: The designers created designs from party supplies. Andy won the challenge! Sarah, with her so-much-better-in-the-design-stage outfit, got the boot. And, Ivy died.
God, ya'll, Mondo in the credits? It's like an alien is about to burst from his chest. He's as frightened as we are.
So, small exaggeration. Ivy was not technically dead, at least not after the studly paramedics pulled her out of the clutches of the Reaper. Or, are those just PA's? Valerie's worried that she's going to be out of the competition, but then seemed to realize that she should actually just say that she's worried about Ivy's health. She and Gretchen discuss how Ivy was run down and hadn't been taking care of herself. Gretchen, with typical condescending flair, says that it was more important to finish the dress than to take care of herself. Valerie adds that Ivy drinks a lot of Diet Coke and smokes a lot of cigarettes. Well, take it from someone who knows (my mother has a computer that she may one day learn how to use and find this), there is no way in HELL that she's going to stop doing either one of those things in the middle of a stressful experience like this show, so Gretchen can just go suck it with whatever judgments she's having right now. Just put a damn iron lung beside Ivy's work table and all will be fine, for a while.
Anyway, Ivy's not dead. She was just "dehydrated," which we now know officially means that someone has had too many cigarettes and Diet Cokes. We're ON to you, Mariah Carey. But, she's super-psyched to work on the next challenge because she was inspired while she was in the hospital. I did not make up that last part.
At the runway, Heidi greets the designers. She reminds Andy that he has immunity. She says that she's very excited about this challenge and says that the models will explain why. Great, models explaining the feelings of other models. This should be absolutely riveting. Wait, the models are all wearing really far-out hats. They're explaining Heidi's feelings through FASHION. Brilliant. The hats are really very cool. Cute Michael, whose Bernadette-Peters-by-way-of-Wallace-Shawn-by-way-of-Nick-Nolte voice is becoming to me like some sort of woolen Onesie with a little teddy bear head that my face can peek out of (I love it that much), says that each hat is more beautiful and fantastic than the one before it.