Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!

Santino interviews that he is looking for something very pretty. He gets assistance from a Mood employee who leads him to, I swear to God, the same EXACT fabric that Austin Scarlett used for the dreaded Nancy O'Dell's Grammy dress. This is a valuable lesson -- watch your television! More specifically, it's good to bone up on a TV show when you get cast on a new season of said TV show. Right? It's like the girl in college who played the cello and acted like it was some fucking badge of honor that she didn't know what Family Ties was. I hate her.

Tim asks Zulema about her design, and she starts talking about her "time management issues." I'm sure that if I had started the supermarket challenge with the first seasonites, I still wouldn't be finished with my design made entirely of frozen blintzes (patent pending), but…just do it, Zulema. If Nick should "just" win this challenge to get Tarah back, you should "just" manage your damn time. As she is showing Tim her fabric, she says, "I don't work with darks." Shit, for a second I thought I was back in Alabama. That would be a pretty unsavory statement in most circumstances. Why does she always talk like that? "I don't work with sequin." I bet she always says, "That's a nice pant."

Nick asks Tim for some advice. He's not sure what would look best on a blonde model, which gives him a chance to tell Tim how Zulema done him wrong. When Tim hears that Rachael is Nick's model, in a display both uncharacteristic and seemingly ill-suited to his personality, he totally defames the poor girl. He says, "She's like an elongated marshmallow." She has "Gumby legs" and she's "such a stiff walker." Now, she may actually be all of those things, but they're talking about her like she's not a person. As a writer for Television Without Pity, I'm probably one of the last people who should condemn others for shit-talking, but…ouch.

Back at Parsons, everyone gets to work to the distressing strains of chime-y music from The Omen. Wait, we're the only ones who hear that. Daniel interviews that Nick was "worn down" by the walk-off. Why am I laughing? He says that he has a close relationship with Nick. We see Daniel approach Nick in the workroom. Nick says several times that he's "done" and ready to go home. Daniel finally says, "Shut up. Go home because you deserve to go home, not because of some technical detail." Nick cryptically says that he's distressed about other things as well. Before Daniel leaves, he asks Nick to make sure that he's thinking "big picture." And Nick has apparently applied booty-simulating padding to his dress form. The legend lives on. The girl does not have a big ass! It's not a pretty ass, but it's not big. Nick interviews that Daniel "snapped" him back and "read" him. He's going to keep on trying. I can't help but wonder, even though Santino has performed so miserably as of late, if Nick is feeling a little intimidated by Santino's talent. Nick has a more composed talent, while Santino is all crazy Van Gogh ripping his ear off and shit. The difficult artiste is often appreciated more than the practical or "pretty" creator, so I can understand Nick feeling a little stressed by that. Of course, that's a conflict of my own imagining, so it could be bullshit. It's worth a thought, though, I think.

At their dinner break, we see Zulema sitting by herself as the others are eating. She interviews that it feels like they are all in kindergarten. "They're talking to you, but they're always looking at you like, 'I'm watching you. I'm trying to see what's going on with you because you're shysty,' and I'm not shysty." Wow, am I the only kindergartner who wasn't quite so sociologically developed? I was thinking things more like, "I like balloons." Or, "You smell like pee." Then Zulema says that if she wins again, she'll change models again. It's not personal, rather "just business." Again, I call bullshit on Zulema. She's trying to downplay what she did. It was totally within her rights to do it, but she doesn't really want to own it. Instead of admitting that it was a singularly damaging act, she wants to play it off like an extended strategy and Nick was just a casualty of the strategy. Commercials.

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Project Runway




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