Project Runway

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Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now!
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I Thought Tablecloths Were For Magicians

Terri Stevens, 39 and a "freelance designer" (these guys should unionize), joins the other ladies. Back to the boys. Jerry Tam, 32 and the owner and design director of Form. Jerry says that he's doing very well as a designer and is thisclose to being a big shit. Having this platform for his designs is a "dream come true." His stuff is very architectural and chic.

Jerry is joined by Suede, who is 37 and a... "freelance designer" (why bother, producers? Let's just drop the whole occupation thing). I don't know if you can tell this without having to watch it far too many times, but when Suede says his name and where he's from ("New York City") in his interview, he's doing this low-grade vamp that makes my skin crawl. He designed for Polo Jeans, Todd Oldham Jeans, and Jordache. So, conceivably, he could have been out of work since 1996, but whatever. He says that he got tired of making millions for the rest of the world and decided that "Suede needed to make millions for Suede." And, with that, Suede just became Rayon. He says in his bio video that he's going to "snip out the competition." He's holding shears. And, oh my, he says that he's ready to "take it to that next step" and "Suede is going to rock it." That last part is said with his fingers pointing coyly at the camera and he punctuates it with a "Yeah!" Ray. On. This guy is an idiot. Rayon is joined by Keith Bryce, a 26 year old muscle guy with a big tattoo.

Rising from the subway is Korto Momolu, a 33-year old "freelance blah" who was originally from Liberia. Now, she lives in Arkansas. She has been in every magazine in Little Rock, she says. I don't mean to be a snob, but... what kind of magazine culture is there in Little Rock? In any event, she wants to be a part of the New York scene. Her stuff is hard for me to really describe. It's all a bunch of leopard print stuff, which makes me think it's cheap. But, if you look closely, it looks really well-made.

Two more women join the ladies' apartment. They create what is, at least momentarily, an absolutely interchangeable threesome with Jennifer. One of them is Leanne Marshall, 27 and a "freelance designer." Her stuff is pretty cool. It's very feminine and constructed. Lots of pleating. She says that she thinks the other designers are going to underestimate her, which is really only a sign of her insecurity, right? I mean, I guess you can have a history of being underestimated and just sort of expect it in certain situations, but it sounds like she's told herself that people aren't going to like her. She says she is the "silent fashion assassin." Ergh.

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Project Runway

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