Project Runway
Off The Track

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Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!
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Well, GOOD MORNING, designers! Laura looks freaked out right now. Heidi does not care. It's time to run. And, they're off. Josh is the leader from the beginning. Tim is impressed with how quickly Danielle is running. Then, Olivier flies onto his face. Like, the face plant of face plants. This is on film forever. Maybe he'll share a cab to the airport with Cecilia? Danielle feels bad for him, because he could have been a team leader...had he not flown through the air legs akimbo and landed on his face. Josh passes the finish line first. He interviews that he chose to win the race because he knows he can do an amazing job as team leader. Like that -- I mean, is he totally serious? Joking at least a little? Bryce is next. Anthony, probably due to the fact that he is running with a lack of excess baggage, is third. Viktor is fourth. Girls are slow. Viktor says that he never runs, unless someone is chasing him with a gun. Oh, Viktor? That's you? Um, long time, no...see. Heidi makes fun of Bert being so old and fat and unable to run. She runs his last few meters with him, in high heels, in order to further shame him for having lived so long. The designers applaud him when he crosses the finish line.

Olivier is getting attention from a medic. He's a really good sport about it. Tim says that they're dropping like flies on Project Runway and Heidi is BORED. She perks up a bit when Tim points out that Olivier, with the medic still attending to his knee, passes out. Shit's getting real. Commercials!

When we return, Olivier is still sprawled on the track. He interviews from beyond the grave that he felt dizzy and short of breath and he couldn't feel his arms and legs. He says he was having a panic attack. Bryce says that he felt bad for Olivier and I'm beginning to notice a trend. Something was weird about when Danielle said she felt bad for Olivier and Bryce is identical and you know what's happening? They're TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. Shameful. Heidi doesn't have time to waste though. She asks Olivier if he'll be able to join them and he drags himself to his feet. He's still in the game. Heidi congratulates the winners and Bert says that he doesn't want to be on Viktor's team, because of their last experience together. He also doesn't want to work with Josh because he finds him far too full of himself. He's not wrong. But, still, Bert how have you made it this far? Without just imploding or something. You CANNOT be this sensitive. Also, can we TALK about Anya's legs for a moment!? Tell me I'm not the only one who is falling more in love with her every time she floats across the screen. She is my Miss Universe and damn the judges who didn't make it official. Who were they? In 2008, her year to compete, they included Donald Trump, Jr., Nadine Velazquez and Roberto Cavalli. She'll show Cavalli, I'm frankly disappointed in Nadine and I wouldn't expect anything different from a Trump.

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Project Runway

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