Project Runway
Put On Your Dancing Shoes

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now!
Last Dance and Chance

Ivy's look is next and it's an emerald green short jumper with a translucent skirt. at the neckline is a gold sparkling collar and the shoes are gold. She says that she's thankful that Casanova helped her finish because she really thinks that is what makes the outfit. The colors are amazing. Also, I'm shocked by how much I like Ivy this season. It's like she had her shrillness surgically removed. I'm sure that it could all come back any second, but in the meantime I am going to just appreciate that she seems to be focused and doing her own thing and not killing anyone (though I should maybe talk to her about Rayon).

Uli's look is next and it's this white cocktail dress with long tassels at the sleeves. It's sparkly and there are small tassels all over it. Did she create all of the embellishment? This looks so freaking complicated. It's badass and looks really Northern European. Maybe the national disco costume of Finland? It's awesome though. Doesn't look like disco. The judges look visibly excited when they see it. It's like a movie about a girl who becomes a famous fashion designer. If they just wanted to show in like two silent seconds that our young heroine just became a STAR, it would look like the judges looking at Uli's dress. I can hear the director screaming, "You love it! You've never seen anything like it. BIGGER, Isaac. Breathe faster, Isaac. CRY!" I feel like that could have been a TV movie in the late '80s starring Melissa Gilbert or Heather Locklear. Uli is happy with her dress.

Joshua made a short sleeved turquoise pantsuit with a cut-out in the back. Joshua is really happy with it and thinks that the cut-out adds a sex element that he feels defines him as designer, if not a lay. The suit is cute. I could see some fancy lady dancing on a yacht and drinking a Pinot Gris in a really big glass and wearing this. Hopefully she's wearing shoes because you know she's gonna break that fucking glass.

Laura Kathleen's look is a loose floor-length jumper with a short lamè jacket. It's cute, but it's not very modern. This is actually exactly what they were wearing during the disco era. She says that she really feels that she has channeled Diane von Furstenberg. I mean, sure. It's kind of illegally similar to her work. Laura Kathleen and Gunnar from Season 10 need to go in together on some voice classes where they learn to place their voices in their freaking chests. She's so nasal that I sometimes lose the word sounds and it feels like she's just humming a really bad song or playing a kazoo.

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Project Runway




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