The All-Stars this year.... I don’t know, at first it seems more like All-Bitches. You’ve got Joshua McKinley, who’s out of the gate with his ridiculous eyebrows and insult for Anya. So yeah, he’s still dead to me. Emilio Sosa, who had so much attitude during his season; Althea, from Season 6, who I don’t remember because I was spared her season; and Anthony Ryan from Season 9, who was actually pretty nice. Then, there’s Rayon from Season 5. We’re not ready for this. Ivy from Season 8 is here and I can’t tell if she’s gained self-awareness or not from her first little moments. Peach is there too! I so badly want her to be good at this. Casanova is there and he apparently works for Ivy. Hmm. Uli from Season 3! She looks amazing and I still remember how amazing her collection was. Everybody’s line is that they were robbed during their season. Kayne of Many Colors is with us again, as are his apparently multiple cosmetic procedures. Y’all, he does more than pageants. Andrae from Season 2! Hell. Yes. And Wendy Pepper. Andrae calls her a Disney villain, which is perfect. She’s still not here to make friends and all that.
Carolyn Murphy is the host! I LOVE HER. She looks gorgeous. She tells the designers that, in addition to the normal prizes, the winner will get flown to all of the various Fashion Weeks around the world. The total of all of the prizes is over $750 grand. Hello. Joanna Coles is the mentor again. God, everyone is wearing such ridiculous clothing to begin. Joanna tells them that they are going to be on teams for the first challenge. This is such great news. They pick their teams and Wendy is the last picked… or the not-picked. They have to make a cohesive collection as a team and the theme is attitudes. Althea is bossy. Her team is going with Bold as their attitude. Joshua’s team is Confident. Poor Peach gets pushed around immediately on Team Confident and I really wish she were able to throw that stuff off. Joanna also tells Anthony Ryan to not be crazy precious. She talks to Ivy about how she was a total bitch to her the last time she tried to talk to her and Ivy blames it on her personal life at the time. Ivy interviews that she was so stressed that she wasn’t herself.
Joshua is in love with Wendy Pepper. It has maybe softened her? Scary.
Laura and Andrae don’t really seem like they like each other. Casanova thought that Kayne’s look resembled a drag queen outfit.
On the runway, Carolyn introduces Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi and Rachel Roy. Mondo is also a judge. During the show, Emilio is great. So is Rayon? I don’t know, it was cool. Joshua’s look was acceptable. For the next team, Ivy was OK. Wait- all of Team Confident was pretty cool, except for Kayne’s, which was pretty trashy. Uli’s look was gorgeous. Team Confident is the winner! Casanova and Anthony Ryan have the highest scores! Laura, on the other team, had the actual highest score on her team.
Georgina loved the lace and leather of Casanova’s look, though they wished it had been younger. The judges think that Rayon’s skirt was sloppy. Peach gets assassinated by the judges for not speaking up more. They HATE Andrae’s look. Ultimately, Mondo argues for Andrae’s argument for his garment, which was cool. In the end, Anthony Ryan was the winner. Rayon is safe, which is totally lame. Andrae gets to continue and poor Peach has to go home. Boo.
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The dust has yet to settle on Dmitry's Project Runway win and we're already back for some all-star action. And we begin with Joshua McKinley, who appears to be wearing a satin leopard-print jacket. You didn't know that leopards came in satin, did you? Well, now you do. Maybe this is unfair, but I don't have to see much more than Joshua, all lacquered hair and tweezed eyebrows and spray-tanned to within an inch of his life, popping the non-existent collar on his satin leopard-print jacket to remember just how much I disliked him on his season. Just the most ungracious unaware dude. He interviews that winning Project Runway: All-Stars would validate him because it would be an admission from the judges that they didn't get their decision right the first time. Oh, I see, we're going to start out like that. I really can't stand this guy. He just doesn't get it. He also says that he's back to give the judges "the ol' razzle bedazzle." I guess he's trying to brand his penchant for adorning everything. Yeah, be proud of that, you nitwit. Seriously, he makes me want to go into P.R. or be an image consultant or something. Someone could fix this guy. He has considerable talent and it's satisfying to watch him work because he's pretty competent. Aside from the fact that I'm not really crazy about his aesthetic, his main problem is that he looks like an idiot and he spews bullshit all of the time.
Emilio Sosa is next. I'm only being honest that I don't remember a lot of specific moments with Emilio. I remember that he was incredibly talented though a challenging personality. He reminds us that he won the most challenges during his season. His object for being here is winning the whole competition. He reminds us that he has been in theatre for 25 years and is Tony-nominated. Well, that's pretty huge in my book.
Next is Althea Harper from Season 6. I was on the road that season and Al Lowe was recapping, so I'm not really familiar with her. She has a lot of really shiny and meticulously curled hair. She tells us that she was just out of the college when she was last on the show and she has learned a lot more about who she is as a designer. Here's Anthony Ryan from Season 9. I can't really remember if he and Joshua got along well or not. He says that he should have gone further in his season and people should not underestimate him.
Sweet Jesus, what is Suede, aka "Rayon", doing here? He looks ridiculous. He's got all of this super precious facial hair that is dyed purple. Guys, I can't even. He tells us that "Suede is ready to rock the freaking frock." First of all, I go back to this idea -- why would anyone, ANYONE, wear clothes made by someone who put themselves together in such a way as Rayon here does? I mean, what is his objective? What IS the object? If it's a tony Park Avenue society doyenne as a client, well, then, he's doing every possible wrong thing that can be done. If it's celebrity, then... well done? I don't know. Seriously, I can't.