As would be sung on the Reality Bites soundtrack: Reunion! I love reality television reunion shows so much -- and can't really explain why. I love people complaining about editing. I love how the participants adopt new personas on top of what we've already seen. They are always more dignified, like they're at a memorial service. It's as if the pressure of the experience has turned them into diamonds. Or so they think. I don't know if that explains it, but I certainly hope this crew lives up to my reality television reunion expectations.
The designers start arriving at da club. The arrival march is a device that is probably used to re-familiarize the audience with the sequence of elimination, but it oddly smacks of punishment. I mean, what's sadder than an empty nightclub? Sure, lots of things. So, Heidi Standridge and John Wade arrive together. But, something is missing…damn, it's the other half of John! He's…Jesus, he's like 80 pounds thinner. He looks great! Heidi looks the same. John finds the bright side of being the first people at the party -- "There's one good part to being kicked off first. We get to drink first." Isn't that the South Beach Diet? We see a clip of him telling Michael Kors that he only spent eight hours making his dress. (For this episode, due to the rehashing nature of the content, I'm not going to link to past episodes for every flashback. There would likely be some sort of rip in the fabric of time. )
We see Heidi tell Mrs. Klum Seal that she doesn't know what "auf wiedersehen" means. I still find that kind of annoying, her attempt to sell herself as the good ol' southern girl. It's not like she was the only person keeping it real and people from Ohio and California are merely acting like they understand what "auf wiedersehen" means. And: I took four years of German in Alabama schools. Granted, it's ugly when I try to use it. Thank God most Germans speak English. But I knew what fucking "auf wiedersehen" meant before I was even in a German course. My point is that the only thing she's really accomplishing is making the South seem xenophobic, because we know she knows what "auf wiedersehen" means. Well, she doesn't mind Mexico -- she's having a Corona.
Kirsten Ehrig arrives. She's wearing a long coat. Once removed, it appears that Ms. Ehrig has gotten herself knocked up. Wow, I really had high hopes for her. Kidding. She looks lovely. Already, I'm loving that we've got one big weight loss and one really pregnant person. Changes! John rubs Kirsten's tummy and they hug. She tells them that she's seven months pregnant.