Project Runway

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Frock You!

The judges mull their options. Nicolas is first. Christina is a self-professed hip mover (suck it, Shakira) and is glad that his dress allowed for that. The judges agree it was a thoughtful outfit. They think Carol Hannah's dress was detailed and glamorous. Althea's dress was beautiful, well constructed and expertly tailored. Bob Mackie seems particularly struck by the look. As for the designers they don't like, they start with Shirin. Nina thinks the dress was unfortunate, particularly because Shirin is a good designer. Heidi makes a "smelled-a-fart" face and pronounces the dress "dowdy". Because there is nothing (NOTHING!) more distasteful than dowdy. Well, except maybe Christopher's outfit. The judges all wave their hands in front of their noses to get the smell of stale design out of their noses. They just can't believe that Christopher is so out of touch that he doesn't know that Christina already did that look and she did it better. Guys, Christopher lives in his parents' basement in Shakopee, Minn., so be nice! Not everyone has all access passes to the MTV VMAs, okay? And sometimes mom and dad cut the cable because they think it will inspire you to get a "real" job. As if reality television aspirations aren't a real job! Heidi gives the air one more wave and turns her attention to Logan's look. Heidi was happy that his dress was at least youthful, but Bob is displeased at the length. He wishes Logan had cut it all the way to "the crotch" and then put her in diamond panties. First off, "crotch" is pretty much my least favorite word in the entire English language. Second, ew! Seriously, if I'm in the front row of a concert I don't really want a crotch shot, even if it is sparkly. Thanks anyway! The judges have reached their decision.

Heidi reminds everyone of the rules: They are the best and the worst. One will be in, one will be auf'd. Althea is in. She walks her seven-foot frame off stage. Christina gets to announce the winner. And the winner is... Carol Hannah! Carol Hannah giggles happily and does a little happy hamster dance when she gets backstage. Christina thought the dress was interesting and dynamic and fit really well. She might even wear it some day. But, don't hold your breath for that one. Nicolas is in and excused from the runway. Logan is safe, too. Christopher and Shirin are the last on stage. Heidi tells Christopher that his look was an inexpensive copy of Christina's Lady Marmalade look and if he was going to do a reveal, he should have revealed something interesting and well made. He has tears in his eyes as he envisions his Star Wars sheets on his bed at home. Shirin lost herself in the challenge and created an unflattering and boring look. Heidi calls Shirin's name and after a few beats, Shirin is pronounced out. She gets kissed off, goes backstage and it looks like no one bothers to get up and hug her. Irina gives her a bored look. Shirin promises to carry on and sally forth and all that good stuff while Mr. Sparkle Panties lives to design another day.

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Project Runway




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