Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C | Grade It Now!
You Keep Pulling Me Back In!

Emilio says he was inspired by his fabric. Michael, drawing this out like he's casting a spell, says that the dress is impeccable. He also loves the styling of his model's hair. Heidi thinks it's simple but sexy. Nina says that the fabric could have looked cheap, though it doesn't. Jessica loves the fit. She commends him for spending so much effort on the construction of the undergarment.

Jay explains his intention with volume and detail. Heidi appreciates the work he did, but doesn't like the fatty fatty hip/butt. Michael says that there isn't a woman on the planet who would want for people to think that they have a fat butt. Could you have a fat butt though and wear this dress and be like, "Yeah, it's a little weird on my butt."? Could you do that? Would there be a value add to doing that? To your life? Value? I don't know. These absolutes of Michael Kors though. How does he know? There's always a girl on Celebrity Fit Club who says she doesn't want to lose her butt. Nina points out that the horizontal pleating on the bodice does his models no favors either. Jessica acknowledges that her hips are wider after childbirth, but she still wants to disguise it. Man, can we all take a moment to feel really bad for Jessica Alba? Her hips... so sad. It could happen to anyone really. Be safe out there, everyone.

Jonathan says that he wanted to make something fun. Michael thinks it's maybe too short. Jessica agrees -- one big step and we might be seeing a butt cheek. Michael thinks that the back of the dress looks effortless while the front looks chaotic. He explains that this was his third dress. They're all stunned. Nina thinks that the color palette makes the girl look waxy. Hmm, Tim liked the color palette. I think a reel of Tim/judge contradictions is begging to be compiled, pronto. Anyway, Nina says that the colors won't photograph well.

The designers leave the stage while the judges confer. They start with Seth Aaron. Heidi thinks it was boring. Nina thought it looked funereal. Jessica says that Heidi has an insane body and everyone should see that. I think that she just embarrassed everyone. Heidi explains the Anthony/Maya situation. Jessica says that this is a tough show, but nothing like the real world. I say this as a person who can veer perilously close to cynical, nay bitter, at times when it comes to this sort of thing/person. I'd really like to know what working in studio films since she was a child, but not required to be good at all, what the fuck Jessica Alba knows about the real life for fashion designers or even fucking actors for that matter. I get a little annoyed when people fling around the "real world" talk unless it includes discussion of the best model of hot tub, but this is most egregious. Michael thinks that the dress was gorgeous. Nina loved it. Jessica loved it too and wants to borrow it.

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Project Runway




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