Project Runway
Team Lingerie

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Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!
Team Lingerie

Heidi greets them on the runway at Parsons. Heidi tells them that the next challenge is something about which she knows a lot. Maternity clothes? No, lingerie. There's a polite "ooh" from the audience, and Kara shakes her fists like pom-poms. It's model-choosing time. Tarah and Allison are the girls on the runway. Nick sticks with Tarah, and Allison goes home. Goodbye, good sport Allison! She was a little commercial, but I really liked Allison.

Heidi explains that the designers will have thirty minutes to sketch ideas for a lingerie line with three looks. The designers will then pitch their lines to Heidi, and she will choose four team leaders. The leaders will pick teams of three from the remaining designers, and the teams will work on completing the lines based on the ideas of the team leaders. I'm going to give credit where credit is due -- Heidi has been working. The instructions that she is giving are apparently un-looped, so either she nailed it on the runway or she made a really natural recording. It sounds live, though. It seems like a small thing, but it's so much better like this. I think the issue is that, no matter how small they are, any false moments in the show add up. It's a competition, but the format is still documentary television; and the more you feel the hand of the documentarian, the less effective the work is.

The designers sketch their designs. Nick interviews about Heidi's copious qualifications for judging lingerie, including "that hot body of hers." Daniel Franco interviews that he wanted to do more than a mere sketch, he wanted to make an "impression." Words, Daniel. Just get on with it. Tim Gunn stops the designers when their thirty minutes are finished and starts sending them to interview with Heidi.

Daniel Vosovic is first. His idea is "menswear on women." His inspiration is the idea of an ex-girlfriend taking revenge on an ex-boyfriend and turning his clothes into lingerie. Heidi listens respectfully, sporting some really great posture. Lupe says "superheroes" inspire her. She wants to make underwear with "pow" and "kapow." You're about twenty-five years late, Lupe. They're called Underoos. I had Aqua Man. Andrae floridly describes for Heidi his idea. "Tie. Me. Up. Tie. Me…" Heidi finishes for him, "Down?" She's right. The sketches don't look that extraordinary (straight panties and bras) and his theme evokes something a lot racier.

Chloe's idea is a slip dress that can be worn to bed but also can be worn out with jeans as a top. Clever because it's multi-purpose, but you're too late too. The whole slip-with-the-jeans thing is so over-saturated. It's like the Uggs of 2005. Joining the slip top would be, for men, the untucked striped oxford shirt. People, stop laying them. It's up to us to stop them. Santino tells Heidi that his lingerie line is inspired by her. Looking at his sketches, she asks, "Does she have 'Auf Wiedersehen' on her butt?" She does. As well, "Guten Tag" would be on the front. Heidi laughs. Santino says "Auf Wiedersehen" when he gets up to leave and Heidi replies, "I'm not going to say that to you yet." There's something really funny about that, like Heidi is all, "If I say 'Auf Wiedersehen,' it's over for you." I wonder if that's how she fires people now. She says "Auf Wiedersehen" and just expects them to pack their things and get the hell out. Also, can you imagine believing that you'd trademarked "goodbye"? I'm not sure whether to be shocked at the audacity of Heidi and the other producers, or sad that a lot of viewers probably do exclusively think of Heidi Klum when they hear the farewell of every German-speaking person.

Zulema explains that she wants to make negligees in "various proportions." She continues, telling Heidi that she likes to work in a "short proportion," to which Heidi responds, "We know that." Laughs. They show a clip of the offending garment. It gets more hideous every time I see it. Heidi reminds Zulema that, in this situation, it's appropriate to make the designs short "in the booty area." Kara explains that her collection is titled "Boudoir Babes." That's kind of boring. The editors agree, because, aside from a quick shot of her sketch (corset-y tops and panties), that's all we see of hers. The same goes for Nick, whose theme was "Asiana Nights." The quick shot we see of his sketch includes a robe and crazy headpiece thing. Marla and her "Sweetie Pie" theme are also quickly shuffled off. The sketch we see is of what is indeed a sweet nightgown. Emmett's theme is "Heidi's Hollywood Honeymoon" and, though it gets a giggle out of Heidi, we only see Emmett's lovely handwriting of the theme -- no sketches.

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