There are only six designers left that means the two remaining boys have to hurry up and auf themselves so we can have the first all girl, all the time, show at Bryant Park. Maxim could sponsor it, right? The boys swear they are going to mount the competition like it is Everest and they are rich bored white guys with a reality show. Standing in the way is Carol Hannah and her desire to branch out, like into pants. Whoa, right?
This week's design challenge is a mystery as all the designers are brought onto the runway and, like the victims of the Blair Witch, forced to face away from the action. When they are finally allowed to turn around, they are faced with the ghosts of designs past. They have to create a look that complements and enhances their best pieces. Logan notes that he is the biggest loser (and I don't mean that in the heartfelt heart-healthy weight loss way) because he has never won nothing. The judges have given him the long silver and black zipper dress to work with. So he buys 40 zippers at Mood. Irina mouths off about her mad skillz some more and is excited to work with her winning Aspen look again. Carol Hannah has to come up with a complementary look for her Christina Aguilera show piece while Gordana needs to come up with a pair for her gay divorcee dress. Christopher buys thirty yards of the same fabric he used in his winning dress, but switches it up by using silver! He's obviously completely confident in his design and fabric choices.
When Tim comes in for his sniff n' sneer, he and Carol Hannah agree that her dress is a big scary mess. Which is fitting as this is the Halloween episode. Tim saves her skinny with his fabric suggestions. Irina's voluminous sweater is completely unexpected, but that it just might be a good thing. Maybe. Christopher's winning piece is youthful, vibrant and sexy and his new piece makes it all look like a mother-daughter dinner dance. Tim is a little scared about Althea's pants. Because they remind him of this one time he went to a dominatrix and he had to wear a diaper. Althea agrees they are scary, but IT IS THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE and she is confident they will work out. Tim has confidence in her. And then they sing that song from The Sound of Music . Logan's look (instead of his looks) is inspiring excitement in Tim. But Althea thinks he stole her collar. Not that she's complaining on national television or anything. Gordana is applauded for her risk taking.
It is runway time and today's random assortment of judges are freakin' Nick Verreos from Season 2 who is now an instructor at the Fashion Institute. (See reality television is a pathway to a career!) Kerry Washington who is an actress and spokesmodel for L'Oreal. Nina Garcia makes her contractually-obligated appearance. Carol Hannah created a really cute bouncy short black dress. Althea made black jodhpurs and with a white shirt with triple-crossed straps and a gray sweater throw. Logan's dress is sort of a disaster, but it is a disaster in such a way that the judges might love it. Irina's dress is extremely complementary in color palette to her Aspen look. It is a very oversized sweater jacket with a brocade strapless dress underneath. Gordana made an(other) edgy grey outfit. This time a structured jacket with an industrial feel and a simple short layered black dress. Christopher made a longer version of his winning dress with flowers on the bottom instead of the top. He swears it is fashion forward.
Judgment time: No free passes anymore and all the designers face the judges. Christopher is up first and Heidi thinks the top is beautiful but the bottom looks like you took the bedspread with you when you walked out the door. Irina's look is liked by everyone except Nina who thinks the dress looks cheap. Irina threatens her with a broken bottle and some harsh words (behind her back). Gordana's dress… well, Heidi hates it and Nick calls it a Warsaw office girl's outfit. Carol Hannah's look is applauded. Logan gets no love at all. Nina thinks it looks like a student project with terrible shape. Althea's paper bag waisted puffy pants are a huge success. Heidi starts off with “I want it. I love the pants.” Need you hear more? Then Irina gets her bitch on (in public for once) and points out that Althea's oversized sweater looks like hers. But the judges don't really care about Irina's complaints and heap compliments on Althea anyway.
Irina, Althea, and Carol Hannah are the top three this week. Meaning Logan, Gordana, and Christopher are in the bottom (again). Carol Hannah is in. Althea wins. Irina scowls. So who is going home? Christopher is safe. I guess those virgin sacrifices are paying off. Gordana is in. And Logan, eye candy of the catwalk, is out.
Last week's challenge inspired the designers to a big old bowl of meh. Nicolas got sent home for his lackluster efforts leaving Christopher and Logan as the only representatives of the flailing XY chromosomed designers. Although, it might be worth confirming that Althea's hair is actually female, because it kind of looks like it belongs on Sebastian Bach. Before the day's competition, Christopher and Logan sit in their mancave to scratch in peace while they strategize and tout their superior math skills. Logan thinks they, as the sole surviving members of their race, need to really step it up and get out of their comfort zone. Christopher wants to work on making the judges "get it." I'm not sure what "it" is, but I'm sure it requires several doses of Cipro to cure. Christopher recounts each and every last wonderful thing the judges said about him way back at the beginning of the competition when the judges cared and it was Christmas every day and little birdies helped dress his models. However, it seems that Christopher has been dutch-ovening himself and has managed to kill enough brain cells that he doesn't remember any of the mean nasty things the judges have said about his looks. And by "looks" I mean outfits. The judges haven't sunk to mocking his actual looks yet, although they have seemed harsher than usual this season. Christopher disagrees with me, though. He is pretty sure the judges called him fat. They must have edited that out.
Over in the girls' locker room, Althea's head is being eaten by an octopus and no one is helping her! It is a competition after all. Hmm. Maybe the octopus is actually one of her family secrets for achieving perfect hair. Okay maybe they are curlers, but, wow!, that is a LOT of curlers. Granted she has enough hair for an entire '90s hair band (including the saxophone player who just shows up for soulful solos during the rock ballads.) Irina is pretending to be humanoid and plays well with the other girls in her suite as they boast about the size of their ranks. (RANKS, not racks, minds out of the gutter please.) Althea thinks she, Irina, and Carol Hannah are the best designers in the competition and that Christopher, Logan, and sad, sad Gordana have proven they can't play with the big girls. Gordana is too depressed to even get out of bed at this point. Carol Hannah's exuberance (or mascara) has not rubbed off on Gordana at all (it's waterproof!), but Carol Hannah is not entirely composed of sunshine and bubbles and Lash Blast. She is concerned because all she has shown the judges is dresses. She pinky-swears that she can make pants too. Just not, you know, today.