Project Runway

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Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Why Buy the Potatoes When You Can Get the Sacks As a Cocktail Dress?

Previously: We met the 7000 designers who comprise Season 7. Their challenge was to create a look that expressed who they were as designers. Emilio won for his kicky little cocktail dress. Jesus and Christiane were in the bottom 2, with Christiane ultimately being sent home. Also, you know there's a show about the model's? I know, that's all we need, right? Anyway, here's a tiny moment from that where Ping picks a model, sending some other girl home. I'm assuming they all chose their original model and Christiane's girl was the one who lost. But, I don't know. I'm seriously NOT going to watch that model show (...more than a few times), so I'll just have to glean the results from the snippet they show here.

OK, opening sequence on Lifetime -- slow as molasses! Pick up the pace, cats! No one gives good bitch either! I'm hugely disappointed. Jonathan's "My weapon of choice" while wielding shears Charlie's Angels-style is the only one up to the task, sadly. And, it lasts forever. Heidi goes over the prizes and, let's revisit them: there's a photo layout in Nina Garcia's new digs, Marie Claire; an "opportunity" to sell their line on bluefly.com; a $50,000 "technology suite" from HP and Intel; and $100,000 from L'Oreal Paris "to launch their line." So, no car. I guess Saturn went out of business anyway and that's what they were giving away. And that 100 grand -- I wonder if the money can only be used to launch the line? I guess that makes sense. It's a way to use the prize money that you are giving away to enhance the brand of the show. I'd like me some of that technology suite, that's for sure.

The show begins and early-morning New York is already awake and bustling -- everyone but the lazy designers at the Atlas apartments! Emilio has/wants to throw pillows at Jesus to wake him up. Jesus interviews that being in the bottom 3 was the worst feeling. This is low-hanging fruit, but, Jesus, I'm quite sure it was a worse feeling watching your taste-free brown albatross mosey down the runway. He tells us that he needs to "step up his game" and be more creative, though he says that you're never sure what the judges are going to say. I wish the designers would at least pretend that they're not already savvy to everything that happens on this show and reality television in general. As Jay and Anthony are waking up, Jay says that he's sure this challenge will be better. Anthony cracks, "Did my rollers come out of my hair?"

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Project Runway

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