Carolyn says that they will be creating their own patterns using... spray paint. Why that was a major reveal that required that she lift a black veil from a stack of crates of spray paint? Not sure. Rayon announces that "[his name] has never in his life held a can of spray paint, so this is going to me a MAJOR CHALLENGE." I mean, he's got to know, right? How ridiculous he sounds? Is he trying to join the circus after this? Be a clown? What's just bewildering and grotesque about Rayon is the utter earnestness of his delivery. Inside of him is a true commitment to presenting this...thing. Like, he has had conversations with himself and is like, "I mean, how am I going to stand out to the people at home? Rita from next door in this pay-by-the-week hotel where I live in Los Angeles, she used to hang out with Margot Kidder and Karen Black in the '70s and she says that you gotta have a gimmick if you want people to remember you. Which is why she has magenta hair even now and she's in her late '60s. It really makes an impact. She did like three episodes of Ve$as and says that she saw Robert Urich changing once and his tan lines are still in her spank bank. I mean, she's seen it all. So, that's why I'm working so hard on this incredibly current and modern look that I've got going and I'm also going to refer to myself in the third-person at every opportunity so that people know how seriously I take myself. Then, I'll look like the touched artist that I really am. These many bracelets alone make me sooo... wait, make that make Suede so freaking cool. Wait, make that coolorama." It's like, have a little fucking dignity, would you? He seems perfectly nice but I can't help but hate him a little for how dated his ideas about image and branding are. LOOK AROUND YOU! Some of these people are actually doing this correctly! Yes, you will be able to say that you hold the distinction of being the only person who refers to themselves by their own name or who has purple hair, but that's not something to be proud of. It's fucking embarrassing. Ugh. I want to say that Rayon should live in some second-tier metropolitan area where his thing would seem more original, but I don't want to insult even Tampa, at least not this way. Also, they have the internet in Tampa. It used to be that Rayon and his sort of dulled edge thing would seem a lot sharper in places the farther away from the cultural centers you got. But, now every kid in Fargo can crib the style of the coolest kids immediately. It's all online. So, put it all together and he's evil and must be destroyed.
Episode Report CardJeff Long: A+ | 92 USERS: B
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