Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!

Next is Mario's model. She comes out all punk rock and flips the bird. Nina Garcia shakes her head, which Mario notices.

It's time for the judging. Mario, Starr, Nora, Kara, Wendy, and Robert have their names called. The others leave. So, these are the best and worst of today. The models join the designers. Nina asks Mario what he was doing with his gown. He basically just says that models are nasty. The red beading represents blood: "They were envious of her beauty and...they killed her." Work on the storytelling, Mario. Nina seems unimpressed.

Constance asks Robert what his inspiration was, and he says, "Penis envy." Which kind of rocks, because it's so thematically present in his design. But, then he goes on about how his mother had huge balls and he grew up around women, etc. I guess he didn't want to seem chauvinistic. Again, as I said in the last recap: the man loves the female figure. Jesus, the top on this suit is just so sweetly tailored. Paul also likes the cut of the suit, which he expresses with a deadpan delivery.

Nina asks Wendy about her piece. Well, she acts like she's asking a question, but, really, she's just telling Wendy that it sucks. She says it looks unfinished. As well, she reminds Wendy that her design for last week (Life Savers and string) was "bare." Wendy...oh my god, Wendy Pepper has so much makeup on, she could join the cast of Wicked. She has base three shades redder than her skin, her lipstick is fire-engine red, and she has green eye shadow caked on. It's a train wreck, people. Disaster. She goes on about how her model is the goddess of envy and spreads envy wherever she goes. She sounds like she's telling a bedtime story to her daughter. Constance nails her by saying that she "talks a good game," but that Constance doesn't see it in the clothes. Connie's being generous, because I just heard Wendy talking and that wasn't good game. Nina goes on to (so much makeup on Wendy. Who let her do this?) say that Wendy's ideas are not well-executed. You are in trouble, Wendy Pepper. Who are you going to be nice to now?

Starr is asked to describe her dress. She talks about how envy can be like a cancer, hence the tumors. Paul -- again, with no hint of any emotion, save "Have Engine Checked" -- asks whether Starr thought that describing a dress about cancer might be difficult. And, pitiful Starr just nods. C'mon, that's awesome! She just nods. There is something tragic about her that makes me hysterical. I think I can laugh because it's obvious she will land on her feet in the end. That nod was naked, though. Starr's model looks like she wants to give her a hug. Nina reminds Starr that dresses are supposed to beautiful.

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Project Runway




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