Project Runway
Waste Not, Want Not

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Waste Not, Want Not

Laura has on the riding pants that she wore during the dog challenge. Alison says to her (and her lisp has never worked so well, for a moment), "It's a good thing you wore your riding pants. In case it's horses." It's so dry, it's champagne. I'm loving Alison right now.

All of the designers pile into a practical yet unfashion-y black van and start traveling. As they are driving on the New Jersey Turnpike, Alison says that she quietly hummed the theme to The Sopranos to herself. I prefer Bon Jovi. More than that, I think I would prefer imitation Bon Jovi to the imitation Sopranos theme that the Project Runway team has whipped up. It may just be a matter of taste, but I really don't like the flavor of a lot of the scoring of this show. It feels like Right Said Fred found a new career. Laura mentions that New Jersey looks awful. And with that, Laura is dead to Sars. ["Hee, Joe R said the same thing -- but, you know, even I can't defend Exit 13A." -- Sars]

They finally end up at a warehouse, which Robert likens to waking up in a nightmare. Tim tells them that they are in Newark and introduces them to a warehouse of recyclables. Robert says that his first reaction was, "Shut up! I don't wanna work with... trash." I have to say, I'm kinda seconding that. Do we have to do trash?

Suddenly they all have hard hats and vests in fluorescent yellow. You know, in case a car can't see them. Tim is standing next to some guy and says that the challenge is to create an outfit from recycled materials. He introduces Matthew Coz of Waste Management Recycle America. I swear to all that is holy, if Matthew Coz is a guest freaking judge on Project Runway, there will be blood. Five tons of recyclables come through the doors of the Newark recycling place every day, says Matthew. I guess that's supposed to make the designers feel like their chances are better for finding something that's not just a piece of plastic or a freaking Coke can. Or the producers are trying to endow Matthew with some usefulness by giving him spiel time. Seems like a failure either way. What next? Clothing out of melting polar ice caps? I don't need conscience-raising right now, Bravo; I need some damn fashion.

Tim says that they'll each get three bins to collect materials and that this challenge is about "innovation and creativity." Might I suggest that the producers try a little "innovation and creativity" when choosing the next challenge? I'm sorry, I'm just gonna put this out there -- not too excited about the trash outfits. They've already had their repurposing challenge this season. I just feel like our chances of seeing beautiful work is greatly diminished when there are multiple challenges like this. Sure, it's great to see people innovate, but so much energy is spent trying to make an apple an orange instead of just trying to make the apple taste good. Apologies for that. What a stupid analogy. But, right?

They get thirty minutes to dig through the trash; then they will go to an art store for supplies. Laura grabs some shredded paper and asks Alison if she thinks that she might be able to make fur trim out of it. I'm sensing -- and deeply hoping -- that was a joke. No more fur trim, Laura. Jeffrey gets very excited about seeing Martha Stewart on a magazine.

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