Project Runway

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Oh, Baby, Baby, How Was He Supposed to Know?
As if we needed to be reminded, last week Ari was sent home for, just generally, being ridiculous and making clothes suitable only for people from, or traveling to, space. Althea says in an interview that she was really surprised to see Ari go. Girl, are you high? Poor Althea, having to read these lines while she sprays her hair into place for challenge #2. In the boys' chambers, Malvin perches on his headboard and wraps himself in curtains while eating an apple and watching the shirtless Logan stroll around their room. This bird-like pose will strike us as significant later on.

Mitchell, we are reminded, sent a girl down the runway last week wearing a sheer, nude dress when his smocking ordeal failed to fit the model. "I'm just really happy, Mitchell, that you're still here," Nicolas says, sweetly. Mitchell laughs and says yes, the first thing America will learn about him is that he sent a naked lady down the runway. "With a gorgeous collar!" Nicolas adds, and they all laugh. Frankly, that collar was kind of cool. Mitchell says he thinks he deserves to still be there and wants to "rekindle" his dream. Rekindle it from last week?

At the runway, the designers are greeted by Heidi, resplendent in a cougar-printed mini dress and ankle boots. She tells them all that this week, they'll be designing for "a soopamottle" who is also a film and television star. "Initially," Irina interviews, "I was thinking 'is Heidi talking about herself?'" Heidi continues that this mystery person "has a biiiiiig surprise" for them. Behind the scrim at the top of the runway, we see the pregnant profile of none other than Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-Romijn-Connell. "Oh, shit," Nicolas says in an interview, "ooohhhh, shit! Pregnancy challenge! I have never done a pregnancy outfit in my life." Of course he hasn't.

Rebecca comes out and the designers act like 1) they have never seen a pregnant woman, and 2) Rebecca Romijn is the most famous person in the world. She is one of those things, at least, and she is gorgeous. Heidi says she looks so good, she first thought to have Rebecca come out in a swimsuit, Sports Illustrated-style. "You wish," Rebecca says, shaking her head, revealing that she is actually pregnant with twins. "My life definitely doesn't stop just because I'm pregnant," she says. She says that means that the designers are challenged to design something that she will be able to wear to any type of event. Can I slip in, here, that RR-S-R-C, while totally stunning, talks kind of superloud? She says that the outfit they design can be something she might wear to a lunch, a party or a meeting. "As a woman, you still want to celebrate your shape [while pregnant]," she says, "so I'm looking for something that has a beautiful silhouette."

In the workroom, the designers find they have each been given big fake stomachs (I hate the word "bellies" but I know I am going to have to use it, so I am just avoiding it, okay?) to tie on to their dress forms and work with. Later, the models will have to wear them. "Booyah," Epperson says, slipping one under his shirt. I sort of love him for that, especially since he looks far more like an actual pregnant woman with his on than any of the models will look.

A few of them can't quite figure out exactly where to tie the pillows and Gordana, who has been pregnant twice, helpfully explains where the bump (UGH!) generally begins. "Right below the boob area," she says. PS? I love Gordana. She is normal (so far) and nice to everyone. That's what happens when you don't want to be deported back to a bomb-scarred country where people weave their clothing from potato skins. You refrain from acting like a dumbass on TV.

This abdominal confusion is only the beginning of the general cluelessness on how women's bodies work or where babies come from. "She looks like she's in the beginning of her early second semester," Ra'Mon says. Hi, you went to medical school? Heee. Actually, it was just a slip of the tongue, and he and Gordana laugh heartily as Tim Gunn strolls in.

He reviews the project, and reminds them that it must be chic and, as Rebecca requested, form-fitting. They get to sketchin'. "Designing for someone that's pregnant is definitely a challenge for me," Logan says, adding that he has not had a lot of pregnant women in his life. "That's not really my deal," he adds. "Babies kind of scare me, I guess." Yeah. Malvin says that after the first round, he thinks he understands what the judges want from him, specifically: for him to "combine concept with construction that is very wearable and fashion-forward." Malvin seems to have some really good sketching skills, which makes it a shame that he is apparently sketching something that looks like a woman wearing a sack stretched sideways over a basketball. Ra'Mon feels that because he was in the top three last week, he has really to push himself this week and do the unexpected.

Tim arrives and takes them off to Mood, giving them each a $100 budget. Shirin feels good about her design of a dress and a coat, especially as most of the other designers seem to just be making dresses. Carol Hannah says she's made one maternity dress before, but it was a bridesmaid's dress. "That's a whole 'nother can of worms you don't want to open," she says, laughing. May I translate? "Whole nother," down here in the hinterlands, means "altogether separate." I don't know why we have to add the "N," okay? Whole another? A-whole-nother? It makes no sense, but we all say it, so whatever. Qristyl is stressed out, big-time, but not as stressed as I am, trying to make sure I spell her name correctly every time. WITH A Q? Really, Qristyl's mom? A Q and a Y? She's running around grabbing stuff, and Tim has to tell her to "just... deep breaths, deep breaths." Hee.

Back at the workroom, Irina is amazed how much fabric it takes to cover a pregnant abdomen. However, she feels like there shouldn't be that big of a difference between style for pregnant women and non-pregnant women. Agreed. The thing is... is this a new concept? Not really. Since the slavering obsession of the last eight years or so with pregnant women and "baby bumps," maternity fashion has gone really mainstream. Hell, you can buy a maternity dress at Old Navy! Ra'Mon anticipates that everyone else will be about draping and being goddess-y and "pea in the pod." What he wants to do is keep everything to his aesthetic of being tailored and refined. Althea's concept is to use ribbon to create a bodice, but she's kept the bottom jersey, so that the pregnant lady will remain comfortable. Good idea. Off to the side, we hear Qristyl say she is already changing her mind about her idea. I gasp in horror, afraid she has caught the Johnny disease, but no, Q-Y is not going down like that. Meanwhile, though he is immunized, Christopher is really feeling his design. "It doesn't matter what," Gordana says about his immunity status. "You always want to produce something you're proud of, you know?" Gordana is awesome.

Louise has decided to create a 1920s-ish negligee-inspired cocktail dress that includes hand-dyed lace, something she is apparently "known for." I am not sure who knows about this, and where, but people know it and here she is, at it again. I imagine like, five people in the Deep Ellum section of Dallas watching this and going "Oh, Louise!" I like her, though, and it's cool that she is dyeing the lace. Look, I delayed it as long as I could, but we have to get to Malvin. His concept "revolves around the idea of fertility." He's playing around with images (in his head, obviously, since we see nothing of the kind) of birds' nests, eggs, etc. He appears to be using pretty much the same fabric we saw last week -- it looks like natural muslin, or something. So, this week his model will look like a pregnant mummy. Hey! Mummy! See what I did there? "Basically," he interviews, nodding to the camera, "this look is called The Mother Hen." Oh, Malvin.

Elsewhere, after such a strong start last week, Ra'Mon is melting down a little. He tells Althea that all he can hear in his head is Nina commenting that

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