Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A+ | 1036 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Carpetbagging

Mitchell, meanwhile, is still tripping. Because his dress won't fit the model, he has nothing but a collar to work with. I am not really clear why he can't just rework it a little to fix it, but apparently it can't be done. When they return to work the next morning, he is in a seriously bad state. The only fabric he has left over is similar to pantyhose. "I'm in big trouble," he says. They must break to style the girls, and while everyone is getting hair and makeup done, he is stitching his poor model into what appears to be a set of sheer curtains, with nothing under it. "He's basically sending down a nude model," Nicolas interviews. "I think this is a first for Project Runway." Christopher, who I would like if only he would stop wearing his baseball caps sideways, KFed-style, stands by as Mitchell rattles off his drop-dead-last-minute design to stitch the model into some fabric dress and then cut it short. "Is that a good plan?" he asks. Christopher: "I think it's a... plan."

Makeup is liberally applied to all the other models in the next room while Ari literally rats the hair of her model into a tragic before-picture look like something out of a shampoo commercial. "I'm trying not to damage your hair," Ari says, ratting away, and the girl's face says it all. With 10 minutes remaining, everyone scurries around doing last-minute touches, zipping and sewing. Mitchell says he has a dress to send down the runway, but he's really worried about what the judges are going to say about his nude model. Perhaps they will tell her to go back and put a real dress on. Gordana's model looks like she could be Gordana's daughter. Tim comes back in and gives them the final push, and it's on to the runway.

Heidi looks superfabulous, natch, and comes out to give them the "you're in or your aut" speech, and introduce the judges, Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. Oh, I am sure you've missed them. They look ready and willing to eviscerate. But, listen, none of this matters, because there is a guest judge AND THAT JUDGE IS LINDSAY LOHAN. Somehow this information had slipped past me in my, admittedly limited, preparation for this episode's viewing. So, when Lindsay strolls out with her extensions flowing in the breeze and her leggings in full effect? Well, what was I to do but scream? Her fake tan glowing like the red dirt caked on the side of my car, she emerges to the cheers of the contestants.

This is the part where I really hate that there are 16 designers, because I love dresses and feel like I have to say something about each one of them. There are some really interesting, if not beautiful, designs to be seen here. Really they can be categorized into The Good, The Eh, and The OH, NO. My favorite part is how it's all edited so that the most talented designers get the least amount of attention. I guess if they're really good they'll be staying longer and thus will be seen again in weeks to come, but it's a shame their work in this good challenge will get ignored. I mean, in six weeks they will probably be forced to use living fire ants to make swimsuits or something.

Project Runway

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