Next up: the Feather Prince. Oh, what's that? You haven't heard of him? Because he's allegedly known in New York City as that, and if it's true, frankly, I am jealous. I would kill for such a nickname. Here, I'm going to try to make this happen: "I'm Al Lowe, and I'm known in Atlanta as the Sequin Baroness." Spread it around. His actual name is Nicolas, and his friends apparently joke that all he uses is chiffon, lace, feathers and champagne. Ridiculous as he is, those are some of my favorite ingredients for life, and he actually seems capable of using them professionally as he says he has worked for various fashion houses, including Marchesa, for whom he did a dress that was on the cover of Vogue. If that is the case, it is a mystery to me why he feels he needs to do this show.

Arriving now is Mitchell, who is cute and from Savannah, but already looks like he has been crying, along with the beautifully dreadlocked Epperson, and awkwardly funky Christopher, from Minnesota. When Christopher shares his provenance, by the way, Mitchell reacts like he just said he was from a cave in the woods. Um, Prince is from Minnesota, okay? Not the Prince of Feathers -- don't get confused -- but the Purple One, himself. And a man who routinely wears assless chaps and renames himself a shape is not going to live in some kind of fashion wasteland.

Here is where things get sad and confusing. Ari, who is a way cuter, far more likable clone of Samantha Ronson, arrives and is instantly weird. She likes to channel "creative options" and ask fabric what it would like to be made into. And she wants to make clothes that could also be tents that have water purification systems. Hold up -- is she saying that she wants to make a piece of clothing in which you can live and... pee, and then recycle your pee into drinking water? I feel that's what she just said. Because that already exists, and it is called the suit an astronaut wears. Which she might have learned about it when one landed on her home planet. Poor Ari -- she is CUTE, man, but she is waving her freak flag WAY too soon. She shakes the hand of Althea, who breezes in never to be seen again, and they are soon joined by New York native, Irina (who is inspired by her poodle to make handtooled leather), and Louise, the retro/vintage champion from Dallas.

Back in the boys' area, Ra'Mon helpfully comments that he is surprised that the show is being produced this season in Los Angeles, instead of New York. Yes, I understand that has been a major point of contention among the fans but, fear not. Johnny reports that the L.A. garment district is like, seven times bigger than NYC's. So, sure, that settles it. I know L.A. gets an enormously bad rap in this argument, and I am not qualified to add to the discussion, so I hereby bow out and invite you to scratch each others' eyes out in the forum.