Oh, hello! Did you think the Project Runway season was over? Well, it is! And instead of filling time with that show about making bracelets (which was called Project Accessory, and you can go ahead and look it up if you think I'm lying), Lifetime is hitting us with another season of Project Runway All Stars, a very similar show that you have to set your Tivo for separately. And it's got different judges, no Tim Gunn, and no Heidi. Instead, we have Alyssa Milano! The one from Who's the Boss! And also a lot of other work since then, including Mistresses, but that's no fun. To me, she'll always be, um, whoever she played on Who's the Boss. Was she Tony Danza?
Enough of all this Alyssa Milano talk. We've got some All Stars to try desperately to remember! Like Viktor Luna, from season nine! And Mychael Knight, who I actually remember from season three! He's wearing a ridiculous garment that starts as a white T-shirt on top, but as soon as it's past his chest, it turns into leopard print. And there's Daniel Esquivel from season eleven. I remember nothing about his clothes, but he seemed nice and has an extravagant moustache. They're all just meeting on the street, which is an interesting change from the usual hotel room.
Next up is Korto Momolu, from season five. And Elena Slivnyak from season ten, who wants to prove that she's not the bitch everyone thinks she is. That rarely works (although it kind of did for Kate this last season), but she's been taking yoga, so it'll be fine. Melissa Fleis of season ten claims that being on All Stars is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, although it's probably going to be a lot like that time she was on Regular Project Runway. She acts happy to see Elena. Also from season ten: Christopher Palu, who I vaguely remember liking. Ari South was the season eight finalist, and the reason you don't remember her is that she competed under the name (and gender identity) of Andy. Christopher is much less happy to see Elena than she is to see him. There's a lot of hugging, with various degrees of sincerity.
Is that it? Eight designers? Great! We'll be done by Christmas! They go to see Alyssa, who looks great. Although not quite as great as Heidi Klum, which I suspect is why she got the job. Heidi's no fool. They're in Bryant Park, right by Parsons. It'll be a ten-week season, even though there are only eight of them. But then! Jeffrey Sebelia jogs out to join the cast! And he was the actual winner of season three, so people are worried. I remember him! He was the jerk with the throat tattoo. He still has the tattoo, but it remains to be seen if he's still a jerk. And there's also season six winner Irina Shabayeva. And also season seven winner Seth Aaron Henderson, who claims he doesn't care about the money as long as he wins.