Push, Nevada
Push, Nevada

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | 437 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Oh, they're shoveling it, all right

We cut to the holder of the binoculars, which turns out to be the lead man of The Three Product-Placed Ross-Dress-For-Less Suit-Wearers Of The Apocalypse, who we'll call Huey for a more hyphen-less point of reference. While Dewey and Louie waste the whole day swimming through vast piles of cash with their Uncle Scrooge in the room with all the loose swimming money in it, Huey shows up and works an honest day, goddammit. That's why he gets to be first. And in the end, the only thing you even have to gain from that whole damn tangent is having the Duck Tales theme song stuck in your head for the rest of the week. Sorry. Oh, and "whoo-oo."

Bird-watching, if his primary goal is tracking the mysterious movements of the rare and elusive Loony Bird, Huey narrates for our benefit: "Shadrack, picking up cans." Shhh! You'll scare him away! The Loony Bird is so beautiful in its natural environment, isn't it? We cut to another shot of Dewey and Louie (oh, never mind the money-swimming theory…they're all there) responding, "A destitute simpleton. Inconsequential." Dewey or Louie (whatever. They were stupid nicknames anyway) takes a slug of what appears to be vitamin water of some kind and thinks about giving someone that damn bullshit electrolytes speech about how it's better for you than water. But he saves himself from the wrath of a considerable beverage rage I didn't know I had in me by announcing into his cell phone, "What do you say we grab some Coronas?" Corona LLC cuts a check, and it's not enough to cover the cost of building a whole casino set for a show that's getting axed tomorrow. And the juice flavor is fucking orange and we fucking get it.

Three shiny black cars drive past Shadrack, who pushes his Loony Bin off the street and into a sandy nook. He grabs a shovel and starts digging. In fast diggy motion! This camera work has blown my mind! I think I'm seeing double! Good thing I'm playing the role of Guy From The Past who was cryogenically frozen five minutes before TV was invented and woke up just in time for this episode of Push, Nevada to start. Good thing for that. Inside a bag inside Shadrack's Loony Bin, we suddenly spy ourselves a dusty copy of The Holy Bible -- signed by the author -- which Shadrack peers at nervously. He peers around. He peers at the Bible. Let's try a mating call and see if we can get his attention. Hey, Loony Bird! Caw! Caw!

Push, Nevada

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