I have lost my mind.

Jim's Vintagemobile lumbers into town, Jim stating definitively into his cell phone, "Oswald Wilkes." He spells it, because no one with a fourth-grade education has the faintest idea of how to spell the last name shared by a man who assassinated a standing president. "Pull up his 1040s for the past five years and check with the Department of Justice for any criminal history." Like the whole president-killing thing, for example. But there's more multitasking to be done, Jim adding, "As a matter of fact, do the same for Silas Bodnick." He doesn't spell it, so that must be the name of the guy who did in McKinley. Wait. Was McKinley assassinated? Maybe if we wait around long enough, we can ask Jim's dad, as flashbacks indicate he was alive during that long-gone period of American history. ["Or we can wait for a character named Sirhan Czolgosz to show up." -- Sars] He threatens to wrap up his call once more, but just at this moment he sees Taudrey walk past his car, and he mumbles, "Mary." Odd, with a name like Taudrey, but a man in love can sure do some crazy things. She's wearing black sunglasses and wearing a strappy black sundress (is there such a thing as that?), and Jim continues on, "Mary…forget it, I don't have a full name." No last name, eh? Of course you do. It's "Horne."

Back in the Department Of Wasted Tertiary Characters Who Are So Far Above This Crap That They Need Space Suits And External Oxygen Supplies, Grace stands behind Jim's desk moving files around and asks him, "Are you still not coming back here? Your inbox is filling up." Oh, man. Tell it to my boss. Or just read about it in The New Yorker (long story. Email me…I'll tell you). Jim responds that he's at Silas Bodnick's funeral, and Grace responds with her level voice which is equal parts apathy and lots more apathy, advising, "You may want to call Mr. Glassman." Jim knows CPA Schnook must be mad enough to eat a hoof, but defends himself that "something's happening here." Grace changes tacks by telling Jim that his ex-wife called again (okay, wait. I'm not kidding for a second. Is this last week's episode? Maybe I just forgot to tape the new one. I'm totally not kidding). Jim's the only person surprised that she called again, and I mean, why would he be? The outgoing IRS central voicemail message must be, "If you're Jim's ex-wife, please leave a message after the tone. Everyone else, shut up and go buy Quicken." I know it's not April and all, but it's a bit ridiculous. No one files quarterly in Nevada? Grace goes on to explain that his ex-wife called requesting the key to Jim's house. Jim asks how she sounded, and Grace ponders before volleying back, "Sober." Another few lines of this stilted dialogue, and she's going to be the only one. Me, I'm going out with the suit guys for Coronas.