Red. Tinged. Tire. Memory. This is like a reading comprehension quiz, and I feel like I have to take out the word that doesn't fit with the other three, like I'm studying for the GREs even though I'm not, thank God. Jim's cell phone rings, and he wakes up in a stupor. That also happened last week. It's Schnooky McParve, the desert southwest's most cliché CPA. Jim explains to Ira that he was sleeping because he's been dealing with an infection, and Ira laughs it off that he was expecting Jim in the office today, and that "Ramon at Arby's was expecting us." But he was not expecting you to order a glass of milk to wash down your hamburger with, was he, Goody-Goody Allen? Ira sounds relieved when Jim explains that he's been under the weather, but Jim heads Ira off when he explains that his illness isn't the reason he hasn't left Push: "Being sick is not the only reason that I'm here, Ira. We discussed this. Something substantial is happening here, Ira. Something substantial and sinister. Ira, no one in Push, Nevada has filed a 1040 in over seventeen years. Grace did some research…" And she's going to have to answer to that, Ira indicates, spreading the red tape (even though the password is "orange") and filling out his TPS reports and generally getting consternated with Jim, telling him, "A 7C! That rang the bells all the way up to Provo. Some say even Washington. And, worse yet, she was mistaken. She performed the search incorrectly, and queried the wrong database." Ira wigs now, and tells Jim that this investigation "has never been approved by my office." He insists that Jim come home and take his days in Push as his personal days. Then he tells him to "buckle up on the drive home," and hangs up to regard the backs of the dark-suited men who have watched him on the phone and oh my God that whole scene already happened nine times.
Beige Leisure Suit Of Wholly Non-Leisurely Justice-Seeking back on, Jim wanders the night, walking first up to Job's place. Job, standing outside and, um, sweeping the desert, I think, tells Jim, "You look like hell." He retreats to the office, ostensibly to get Jim's keys, and Jim takes this moment to make an after-hours call just to chat with his assistant on his cell phone, which could drive you mad. Mad! Grace picks up, and Jim immediately tells her that Ira "wasn't happy" and "was threatening to fire" him. While Grace explains that she knows she acted outside of procedure but also knows that she performed the search correctly, from back in Job's office a hand inserts a bullet into a gun and begins pointing it in Jim's general direction. Jim explains again that he feels "a bit under the weather." A hand cocks the gun. Jim asks where Grace is (none of your business, Bossy the Bossman), and she tells him that she's at Jim's house with ex-wife Darlene. The cocked gun points at Jim's head. Darlene takes the phone and bids Jim hello. Meanwhile, The Three Product-Placed Ross-Dress-For-Less Suit-Wearers Of The Apocalypse show up at One-Eyed Sloman's and tell a man at the bar to call off the assassination, as Jim has already contacted federal law enforcement regarding the facts surrounding Silas Bodnick's death, and for him to disappear now would look vaguely suspicious. Jim talks to Darlene, who is Renee Zellweger never waking up from her Nurse Betty coma. Gun pointing. Talking. Trigger pulling. Phone inside Job's ringing. Answering, "This is Oswald." Death called off. Whew. I love how that entire scene existed to highlight that even in life we are in death, and that even the most trivial activities can be hyped up by someone almost pulling a trigger. The fault in that structure, of course, is that every other scene in this episode so far has been that scene (talking on cell phones about math) without the threat of imminent death. This road to cancellation is paved with scenes about people talking on cell phones about math. I'm 6,009 words in…do you think it got cancelled while I was writing? Let's go check.