Push, Nevada
Storybook Hero

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Djb: C | Grade It Now!
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One Night in Prufrock and the World's Your Oyster

Jim's on his cell phone at the Sheriff's Station reception desk. A phone rings in Carson City, and a bird-like woman sitting at a desk in front of a file cabinet picks it up and asks, "Hello?" Jim's confusion mounts as he asks, "Grace?" We learn that this sweet bird's name is "Myrna," and Jim checks the caller ID on his SPRINT PHONE to make sure he's dialed the correct number (it's 866-540-5838, but I don't think I'm playing anymore because I already have WAY too much money as it is, so...), and asks as a precaution whether he has, in fact, reached the IRS. Myrna The Temp (because when you run out of ways to bag on the assistant, move right on to making fun of the temp) clarifies for Jim that Grace is out of the office, and Jim notes, "She hasn't missed a day of work in five years." Show don't tell, Ben. Show don't tell. Myrna starts on a filibuster that personnel didn't say why she was there or who she was replacing, but Jim interrupts into his SPRINT PHONE and tells her he needs to speak with Ira. Myrna seems confused. This show is so strapped for cash that I'm shocked at the discipline it must have taken for Jim not to get real close to his phone receiver and ask Myrna in his most product-placing voice if she could "hear me now."

Ira "Gefilte Fishy" Glassman picks up his ringing phone. Jim identifies himself, and Ira throws back a snide "Jim who?" Jim tries to apologize for not returning to the office as promised, but Ira rants about understandings and loyalty and what kind of behavior qualifies as insubordinate and what kind qualifies as kosher (and believe me, he'd know). Jim can merely say he's turned up new evidence and that he needs to employ the help of "Leon from Legal." Ira tells him he thinks this is "a lot more serious" than what Leon can handle, and Jim tries to reason that he's "done nothing wrong." But as he vamps on, Myrna hops on the line and tells Ira that Jim is on the line and that he'll connect them. Jim tries to tell Myrna that he's already on the call, but she presses a button that sends him to a Muzak void free of further information. With CPA Schnook still wet in the beak from another round of "Bobbing for Reductive Shylock Clichés," I'm surprised the hold music doesn't kick into "Hava Nagila" and that the scene doesn't end with Ira getting carried off in his chair. Back in Push, Jim listens as a recorded voice tells him his wait time for service is thirty-eight minutes.

Opening credits: The cryptic text where the URL is supposed to be instead reads "Tixiv Ter," and the cryptic text where the executive producer is supposed to be instead reads "Ben Affleck."

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Push, Nevada

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